Thursday, July 26, 2012
Eclipsing Pollutants
While going down the highway, the other day, I saw something that renewed a tiny fraction of my faith in humanity. Mounted on the side of a power pole was a solar panel, hooked up to augment the supply of power. When I saw that, I literally jumped for joy. Well, as much as one is able to inside a cramped van.
Why does this partially renew my faith in humanity? It means we are FINALLY taking measures to help ourselves by helping the planet as well as the economy. By using this solar panel we are cutting down on how much energy we need to produce through destructive means. That means energy will not only cost less money but won't produce as much pollution.
Imagine if all power poles for all power lines had a solar panel attached to them? During the day, we might not even have to run the power plants! Using power in the daytime might not even cost you money. If they give you a solar panel to set up in your yard to supplement even more power, they might actually have to pay YOU for the power that they will be storing and sending back along the grid at night.
Just think about that for a moment. Imagine the electric bill you get every month. See all of that money you spend on something as essential as electricity. Now imagine that amount lowering, and lowering, and lowering as more and more solar panels are installed. The bill gets lower and lower and lower. You see one of the digits fall off, bringing the bill lower than it was even when you first started paying it. Lower, and lower, we're down to single digits! You can set your bill to auto-pay and not even notice the difference on your credit card! And it keeps getting lower! Finally it hits zero. You think you're set. You never have to open that bill ever again. Now you are offered a solar panel of your own. You get it set up and start checking that energy bill again, and you notice you are no longer receiving an energy bill. You are now receiving an energy check.
Wouldn't that be a wonderful feeling? They are paying YOU for the service! Seems like a dream come true for me. Unfortunately we're not there yet, but we're getting there. Slowly but surely, we're getting there. And we're saving the environment at the same time by not using the power plants as much.
Saving money and saving the planet in one fell swoop. Can't get much better than that.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Normally Freaky
I am a freak.
Not only do I admit it, I am encouraged by it. It fuels me every day to know that I am regarded as strange or abnormal. The more my behavior differs from the norm, the more I'm acknowledge as being different. But why would anyone want to be different? Why would anyone want to be a freak?
The better question to ask is, why would anyone want to be "normal?"
People who are normal don't stand out. They don't live their life as much as they can. All they try to do is fit in. When you fit in you simply do as you're told and nothing more. Freaks, on the other hand, tend to live life to the fullest, doing what they can to enjoy themselves and avoid the norm.
I don't know anyone who would be content with living their life according to a life lived by someone else. They all want to be individuals and stand out. They all want to be freaks.
Keep in mind, though, if everyone is different, that then becomes the norm.
Not only do I admit it, I am encouraged by it. It fuels me every day to know that I am regarded as strange or abnormal. The more my behavior differs from the norm, the more I'm acknowledge as being different. But why would anyone want to be different? Why would anyone want to be a freak?
The better question to ask is, why would anyone want to be "normal?"
People who are normal don't stand out. They don't live their life as much as they can. All they try to do is fit in. When you fit in you simply do as you're told and nothing more. Freaks, on the other hand, tend to live life to the fullest, doing what they can to enjoy themselves and avoid the norm.
I don't know anyone who would be content with living their life according to a life lived by someone else. They all want to be individuals and stand out. They all want to be freaks.
Keep in mind, though, if everyone is different, that then becomes the norm.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Liberating Cons
What's up with people constantly calling other people Liberals? When did the word "liberal" become an insult in this country? It just doesn't make any sense to me.
"You disagree with what I'm saying? It doesn't matter, you must simply be a Liberal!"
It's as though belonging to a certain group automatically makes you wrong. How does the opponent being a liberal make their arguments any less valid?
And it seems to work for just about any situation, as well.
"I think people should be free to choose what they want."
Liberal.
"Shouldn't we help the mentally disabled?"
Liberal!
"Eggs are rather good as a breakfast food."
LIBERAL!
"I hate all liberals!"
LIBERAL!!!
At one point I was discussing a topic about a woman who was kicked out of a Wal*Mart for wearing a bikini top into the store. Wal*Mart employees at the time claimed it was a health code issue, but Wal*Mart later changed the story to her fighting with people in the store. Neither were the case, she was kicked out because of her looks.
I had made mention of this being a free country, and if Wal*Mart wants to push away their customers with such trivialities, that's up to them.
The response I got was being called a "Libertard" and being told that Liberals were at fault for the country gaining tons of illegal immigrants so that they could vote for Liberals, even after they were dead, and so Liberals could steal from the rich.
… Am I missing something here? What did any of that have to do with the topic at hand?
Further to the point, why isn't it an insult to be called a Conservative? They do all of the same things Liberals do, but they focus on different topics. So why is it okay to be a conservative and not a liberal? It just doesn't make any sense to me.
On a side note, I am neither liberal nor conservative. I believe both parties to be corrupt hypocrites that really should be removed from the political arena. I prefer the title of Progressive, as I prefer the country to make progress, move forward as a society.
Do any of the "Libertards" or "Conmen" have a problem with progress?
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Always Look Back
As of March 15th this year, I will be turning 25. I will have been in this world, watching it evolve into what it is now, for a quarter of a century. Granted, that really isn't much time at all, especially when you consider that I wasn't even all that aware of the world outside of my daily grind for the first ~10 years of that existence. However, as I have watched, many things have become all too apparent to me.
Religious status has changed. When I first learned that there was such a thing as religion, it wasn't very hyped. I knew people had religions and that I did not. I figured I was beyond description, not falling under any category. Nothing was pushed onto me, nothing was forced, except God. As I grew older I began to understand why God was pushed onto me. I grew up in a Christian neighborhood. Not everyone had to say the pledge, though. If you wanted to, you could opt out, which I always did, at first because I am lazy but later because I didn't agree with pledging allegiance to anything I did not fully understand. I always stood to honor the flag, as I agreed with and understood the flag, but I did not pledge, even when it became an everyday thing in high school. These days, the pledge is mandatory. As I get older I'm noticing just how much having God on the money is noticeable. All kinds of religious folks are trying their best to squirm their way into my life. Religions are demanding, more and more, that they be treated as immune to more and more things. It's as if they want to rule over everyone. Any honesty with myself about my beliefs, accepting labels that were branded onto me, has lead to more hatred from others and they have sent that hatred toward me, as though it is their duty to do so as an American citizen. It is quite unsettling.
Small towns have changed. When I grew up in my small town, that's really what it was. I knew the neighbors well enough to play with them. School was full of nice people. Many times something would happen and I as well as my family and neighbors would be shocked by the event, and something would be done to prevent it from happening again. Sure, there were a few kooks, like any neighborhood has, but they didn't harm anyone. Small stores, run by families, were quite common, and known as the best place to get what you needed at a fair price. As I grew older I began to notice that various people started to become distant. It was like they didn't want to know each other anymore. At school more and more people would start to bully at every grade level, even the freshmen in high school were trying to bully people, older as well as younger, regardless of size. Anything that would happen would never get taken care of. In fact, the police have become the enemy to the honest person. The kooks now run the area, getting their way on everything, making normal people the kooks that don't get it. And all family runs stores are dying out and Wal*Mart is the best place to get the lowest prices on all things you don't even need made by a process you don't know, don't trust, and yet don't care about. Small towns as well as cities are all becoming worse, but nobody seems to notice.
Family values have changed. It used to be that the parents had the right to discipline their child however they saw fit. As long as the child wasn't severely harmed, physically or mentally, the parents were able to raise them freely. I know I was spanked a few times as a child, and I don't hate my parents for it at all. I needed to be put in my place and that's what was needed to do it, though only on rare occasions. Children in the area loved their parents and parents loved their children. A few sore words were passed around from time to time, but they quickly faded away. Any kind of parent was welcome, as long as the child was raised in a loving environment. As I grew older I noticed that parents have changed the most. They don't seem to care about their children anymore. They let them go off and do what they want, letting them make mistake after mistake, without letting them know it's a mistake. Parents are no longer allowed to discipline their children. When they try the child calls the police on them. Then, later in life, the parent will call the police on the child. The government has intervened with how children are raised, to the point where every child is to be pampered until they hit the cruel world they didn't know they were brought up in. As a result, children are being raised to hate their parents instead of love them, which causes them to hate their own children. And any parent that is "different" is shunned, and their life is made as hard as possible to try to get them to conform. None of this seems right.
I have changed. In the 25 years that I have lived on this planet, I've seen things, done things, experienced things, loved things, and lost things. I've lived what most might consider to be a full life, and I've only gone through a fourth of what I plan on living. As a child I was wide-eyed, loving the wonder that was the universe as I knew it. I was shy, which allowed me to sit back and watch how things worked. Then I would try them myself, when it applied, to learn fully what I had witnessed. Things that would get people into trouble, like drugs, alcohol, swearing, getting into fights, these things I avoided as much as possible. Things that would be rewarded, like good grades, intelligence, paying attention, peaceful solutions, these things I would apply to myself for my own betterment as well as the approval of my parents and teachers. As I grew older, the rewards and punishments changed. Suddenly those who were arrogant and obnoxious and did what they wanted got rewarded. Those with a lack of intelligence were pampered and those that worked hard were given all of the hard work. I learned not to try as hard, learned not to focus so much on good grades as getting by was sufficient. Instead of standing out as number one, I was taught to fall back and blend with the crowd. Normality was more important and being unique. Despite this, I have since noticed my shyness and have tried to prevent it. I am now quite outspoken about what I think and feel. I don't avoid conflicts unless there is a serious chance of harm. Although my intelligence has remained mostly the same, my wisdom has grown significantly. I have gained a defeatist personality, which I attempt to fight every day, but what I see around me makes it very difficult.
My eyes are still wide, but it is mostly with horror instead of wonder. I know I'm not the only person seeing this, but could I be the only person who sees all of this as a bad thing? I am still young, I still have many more years ahead of me, perhaps even more if science is allowed to advance, unhampered by the continuous march of religion. I am only one man. Despite what the fairytales say, one man cannot make a difference, not on his own. However, one man can get the ball rolling that will allow many other people to make a difference.
At this point I can only hope that my ball is not obstructed over time, and can continue to roll freely until things are set right again.
Religious status has changed. When I first learned that there was such a thing as religion, it wasn't very hyped. I knew people had religions and that I did not. I figured I was beyond description, not falling under any category. Nothing was pushed onto me, nothing was forced, except God. As I grew older I began to understand why God was pushed onto me. I grew up in a Christian neighborhood. Not everyone had to say the pledge, though. If you wanted to, you could opt out, which I always did, at first because I am lazy but later because I didn't agree with pledging allegiance to anything I did not fully understand. I always stood to honor the flag, as I agreed with and understood the flag, but I did not pledge, even when it became an everyday thing in high school. These days, the pledge is mandatory. As I get older I'm noticing just how much having God on the money is noticeable. All kinds of religious folks are trying their best to squirm their way into my life. Religions are demanding, more and more, that they be treated as immune to more and more things. It's as if they want to rule over everyone. Any honesty with myself about my beliefs, accepting labels that were branded onto me, has lead to more hatred from others and they have sent that hatred toward me, as though it is their duty to do so as an American citizen. It is quite unsettling.
Small towns have changed. When I grew up in my small town, that's really what it was. I knew the neighbors well enough to play with them. School was full of nice people. Many times something would happen and I as well as my family and neighbors would be shocked by the event, and something would be done to prevent it from happening again. Sure, there were a few kooks, like any neighborhood has, but they didn't harm anyone. Small stores, run by families, were quite common, and known as the best place to get what you needed at a fair price. As I grew older I began to notice that various people started to become distant. It was like they didn't want to know each other anymore. At school more and more people would start to bully at every grade level, even the freshmen in high school were trying to bully people, older as well as younger, regardless of size. Anything that would happen would never get taken care of. In fact, the police have become the enemy to the honest person. The kooks now run the area, getting their way on everything, making normal people the kooks that don't get it. And all family runs stores are dying out and Wal*Mart is the best place to get the lowest prices on all things you don't even need made by a process you don't know, don't trust, and yet don't care about. Small towns as well as cities are all becoming worse, but nobody seems to notice.
Family values have changed. It used to be that the parents had the right to discipline their child however they saw fit. As long as the child wasn't severely harmed, physically or mentally, the parents were able to raise them freely. I know I was spanked a few times as a child, and I don't hate my parents for it at all. I needed to be put in my place and that's what was needed to do it, though only on rare occasions. Children in the area loved their parents and parents loved their children. A few sore words were passed around from time to time, but they quickly faded away. Any kind of parent was welcome, as long as the child was raised in a loving environment. As I grew older I noticed that parents have changed the most. They don't seem to care about their children anymore. They let them go off and do what they want, letting them make mistake after mistake, without letting them know it's a mistake. Parents are no longer allowed to discipline their children. When they try the child calls the police on them. Then, later in life, the parent will call the police on the child. The government has intervened with how children are raised, to the point where every child is to be pampered until they hit the cruel world they didn't know they were brought up in. As a result, children are being raised to hate their parents instead of love them, which causes them to hate their own children. And any parent that is "different" is shunned, and their life is made as hard as possible to try to get them to conform. None of this seems right.
I have changed. In the 25 years that I have lived on this planet, I've seen things, done things, experienced things, loved things, and lost things. I've lived what most might consider to be a full life, and I've only gone through a fourth of what I plan on living. As a child I was wide-eyed, loving the wonder that was the universe as I knew it. I was shy, which allowed me to sit back and watch how things worked. Then I would try them myself, when it applied, to learn fully what I had witnessed. Things that would get people into trouble, like drugs, alcohol, swearing, getting into fights, these things I avoided as much as possible. Things that would be rewarded, like good grades, intelligence, paying attention, peaceful solutions, these things I would apply to myself for my own betterment as well as the approval of my parents and teachers. As I grew older, the rewards and punishments changed. Suddenly those who were arrogant and obnoxious and did what they wanted got rewarded. Those with a lack of intelligence were pampered and those that worked hard were given all of the hard work. I learned not to try as hard, learned not to focus so much on good grades as getting by was sufficient. Instead of standing out as number one, I was taught to fall back and blend with the crowd. Normality was more important and being unique. Despite this, I have since noticed my shyness and have tried to prevent it. I am now quite outspoken about what I think and feel. I don't avoid conflicts unless there is a serious chance of harm. Although my intelligence has remained mostly the same, my wisdom has grown significantly. I have gained a defeatist personality, which I attempt to fight every day, but what I see around me makes it very difficult.
My eyes are still wide, but it is mostly with horror instead of wonder. I know I'm not the only person seeing this, but could I be the only person who sees all of this as a bad thing? I am still young, I still have many more years ahead of me, perhaps even more if science is allowed to advance, unhampered by the continuous march of religion. I am only one man. Despite what the fairytales say, one man cannot make a difference, not on his own. However, one man can get the ball rolling that will allow many other people to make a difference.
At this point I can only hope that my ball is not obstructed over time, and can continue to roll freely until things are set right again.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Send in the Clones?
I just read an interesting article this morning that was brought to my attention on another website. Apparently, the government is being allowed to continue funding Stem Cell Research.
While I have nothing against researching stem cells, in fact I am all for it, I am a bit preoccupied by what the future might hold. One of the things that came out of this research in the past was a cloned animal. Even back then this raised the question of human cloning. Should it be legal, is it moral, are they still human, all of these questions from 100% original real fabricated wool.
Can you blame them, though? This is a frightening thought! Imagine if you woke one morning to you mowing the lawn and enjoying your family, and you weren't even the one doing it. Not only does the very thought perplex the mind, but it has all kinds of other implications attached. Anyone could be easily replaced with a clone made to do something different with its life as compared with what you wanted.
And you know the first people to get ahold of this technology is going to be the government. Not just because they funded it, but because it would be a great weapon. Imagine the army having cloning technology. At first it would be replacement value for dead soldiers, but then you would just have the clones go to war while the original enjoys the spoils. Suddenly war becomes not unlike most Real-Time Strategy games. As long as you have the money and resources you can create as many troops as you need to win the war. War as a game is not a good thing at all.
What about after the war? What do you do with all of the left over clones? Throw them in storage? Kill them? Let them roam the countryside in search of jobs? Suddenly demand would outweigh supply! You think illegal immigrants are taking away jobs now, just think of what thousands of clones would do! And then there is the matter of rights. Would people honestly give the same rights to clones? It would more than likely be slavery all over again. Clones would get all of the menial tasks that no one else wants. They would pick up trash, clean everything, make deliveries, join the circus, anything that can be done without much thinking or instruction would be given to these poor saps.
After a while of all of this, the clones would revolt against the cloners. Suddenly we'd have a whole new battle around the world. This would be the true World War III. Forget bombs being dropped, we'd have unlimited humans coming at us like terminators. We'd surrender and give them whatever they wanted. However, all they want is a peaceful existence where they can go back to living a normal life. So, having made the clones terraform Mars earlier, they set up a colony there and live out their lives as Martians, where we never hear from them again and cloning becomes banned, not because it is morally wrong, but because they tend to become defective.
So, keep this in mind while we study these stem cells. We may be able to cure cancers and regrow lost limbs, but we'll always be one step away from Defective Clone Slaves from Mars.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Troll Bridge
Have you ever tried to have a serious discussion with a Troll? Darn near impossible, isn't it? Try to explain anything to them and they just ignore what you are saying and come back at you with the same thing you've already given your point on. Any serious debate you try to have is ignored, even when you have already proven your side to be correct with facts and evidence. Why are these Trolls so hard to discuss things with? Why does it seem like they try so hard to ignore any logic at all and the only reason they even learned how to talk was so they could enrage you? Well, that's exactly it.
See, while humans have evolved from earlier primates, Trolls evolved from a different creature entirely. Unfortunately we do not know which one. What we do know, however, is that they have evolved with a completely different organ system than ourselves. While we ingest things like meat and plants and water to survive, all a Troll needs is attention and their body produces what they need. In order to receive the most from this attention, without getting too attached to the kind of attention they get, a mental block has evolved in their brains to prevent them from feeling any remorse from what they say.
The side effect of this mental block is that they also are incapable to accepting new information. Once this block grows during puberty, they are incapable of learning anything new ever again. Everything they've ever heard or read about is now fixed in their minds and incapable of going anywhere. The only memories they can retain are short term and, thanks to their stubborn nature, this makes it nearly impossible for any change to occur at all, let alone for longer than a minute or so.
We do not know where the Trolls come from or why they decided we could best feed them. They look like us and can easily pass as us. The only way to tell them apart, as a matter of fact is that they cannot learn anything and get the most pleasure out of making us angry. However, there is one early warning sign. Trolls, despite everything, are a proud people. They know their past and know they did not evolve from primates. When you bring this up, a lot of them will be lost in their pride and absolutely refuse the claim outright.
So, if you find yourself in a heated discussion with someone who refuses to accept anything, repeats their questions when you've already answered them, and gains great enjoyment out of your frustration, try debating evolution with them. If they refuse to let themselves be called an ape, they might just be a Troll.
See, while humans have evolved from earlier primates, Trolls evolved from a different creature entirely. Unfortunately we do not know which one. What we do know, however, is that they have evolved with a completely different organ system than ourselves. While we ingest things like meat and plants and water to survive, all a Troll needs is attention and their body produces what they need. In order to receive the most from this attention, without getting too attached to the kind of attention they get, a mental block has evolved in their brains to prevent them from feeling any remorse from what they say.
The side effect of this mental block is that they also are incapable to accepting new information. Once this block grows during puberty, they are incapable of learning anything new ever again. Everything they've ever heard or read about is now fixed in their minds and incapable of going anywhere. The only memories they can retain are short term and, thanks to their stubborn nature, this makes it nearly impossible for any change to occur at all, let alone for longer than a minute or so.
We do not know where the Trolls come from or why they decided we could best feed them. They look like us and can easily pass as us. The only way to tell them apart, as a matter of fact is that they cannot learn anything and get the most pleasure out of making us angry. However, there is one early warning sign. Trolls, despite everything, are a proud people. They know their past and know they did not evolve from primates. When you bring this up, a lot of them will be lost in their pride and absolutely refuse the claim outright.
So, if you find yourself in a heated discussion with someone who refuses to accept anything, repeats their questions when you've already answered them, and gains great enjoyment out of your frustration, try debating evolution with them. If they refuse to let themselves be called an ape, they might just be a Troll.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Rules of the Internet
A while ago, I was browsing the internet in a lazy, roundabout fashion, as I am wont to do from time to time, and I came across a list of Internet Rules. Some were stupid, some completely unneeded, most were simply silly. As I searched more I found that a lot of people have tried to make this list and there was only one rule they all agreed on, and that was Rule 34, in some for or another.
Well, none of them covered all of the issues, and I never found a single one that agreed with another without completely copying it. So, I decided to make my own list of internet rules. These are not so much rules that you must follow, as they are rules that are usually followed whether you know of them or not. Without further delay, here is my list.
Rules of the Internet
1. If you're not famous, stay anonymous
2. There are no universal social rules
3. There is always someone willing to ban you
4. Your favorite low level sites will usually die
5. If they don't die then they will stop being the site you remember
6. Anything you say can and will be used against you
7. Anything you say can be turned into something else
8. Everything is out of context
9. Relation to the original topic decreases proportionally to the number of posts
10. No matter what you say, you're wrong
11. All of your carefully thought out arguments can be easily ignored
12. Intelligent discussion can always be brought to a halt by trolls
13. It is impossible to defeat trolls
14. Trolls can never win without you letting them
15. Letting a troll win is treason and punishable by flaming
16. Laughing at a troll is not letting it win - it is entertainment
17. The harder you try the harder you will fail
18. If you win at failing, there's a site dedicated to you
19. Everything "win" fails eventually
20. Everything that can be labeled can be hated
21. The more you hate it the stronger it gets
22. Nothing is to be taken seriously
23. There is no such thing as originality - it's all been done before
24. If it's popular enough, it's on youtube in every form imaginable, at least twice
25. Every comment may be grounds for a sexual or sexist attack
26. CAPSLOCK IS A SURE WAY TO BE HEARD but no one will listen
27. Everything can be made into a Chuck Norris joke - except Chuck Norris
28. Nothing is sacred
29. The more beautiful and pure a thing is - the more satisfying it is to corrupt it
30. Everything is opinion even if you have proven otherwise
31. If it is annoying, it is everywhere
32. "Cute things" will never die
33. No matter how bad something is, there is always something worse
34. If you can imagine it, there's a good chance someone made it into porn
35. If there is no porn of it, there will be soon
Catch All - Never accept anything on blind faith - especially internet rules
If you wish to add any rules that I may have missed, feel free to leave a comment. This list is in no way complete, as there are many aspects of the internet that I have never experienced. As I get more rules, they will be added before the catch all rule at the end.
So, what other previously unwritten rules have you observed during your net travels?
Well, none of them covered all of the issues, and I never found a single one that agreed with another without completely copying it. So, I decided to make my own list of internet rules. These are not so much rules that you must follow, as they are rules that are usually followed whether you know of them or not. Without further delay, here is my list.
Rules of the Internet
1. If you're not famous, stay anonymous
2. There are no universal social rules
3. There is always someone willing to ban you
4. Your favorite low level sites will usually die
5. If they don't die then they will stop being the site you remember
6. Anything you say can and will be used against you
7. Anything you say can be turned into something else
8. Everything is out of context
9. Relation to the original topic decreases proportionally to the number of posts
10. No matter what you say, you're wrong
11. All of your carefully thought out arguments can be easily ignored
12. Intelligent discussion can always be brought to a halt by trolls
13. It is impossible to defeat trolls
14. Trolls can never win without you letting them
15. Letting a troll win is treason and punishable by flaming
16. Laughing at a troll is not letting it win - it is entertainment
17. The harder you try the harder you will fail
18. If you win at failing, there's a site dedicated to you
19. Everything "win" fails eventually
20. Everything that can be labeled can be hated
21. The more you hate it the stronger it gets
22. Nothing is to be taken seriously
23. There is no such thing as originality - it's all been done before
24. If it's popular enough, it's on youtube in every form imaginable, at least twice
25. Every comment may be grounds for a sexual or sexist attack
26. CAPSLOCK IS A SURE WAY TO BE HEARD but no one will listen
27. Everything can be made into a Chuck Norris joke - except Chuck Norris
28. Nothing is sacred
29. The more beautiful and pure a thing is - the more satisfying it is to corrupt it
30. Everything is opinion even if you have proven otherwise
31. If it is annoying, it is everywhere
32. "Cute things" will never die
33. No matter how bad something is, there is always something worse
34. If you can imagine it, there's a good chance someone made it into porn
35. If there is no porn of it, there will be soon
Catch All - Never accept anything on blind faith - especially internet rules
If you wish to add any rules that I may have missed, feel free to leave a comment. This list is in no way complete, as there are many aspects of the internet that I have never experienced. As I get more rules, they will be added before the catch all rule at the end.
So, what other previously unwritten rules have you observed during your net travels?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Economic Prophit
I would like to make a prediction. I don't do this very often, as most predictions end up being wrong. However, I feel this one might be fairly accurate. So accurate, in fact, that if it doesn't happen in this universe, the next one over definitely has it. So what is my prediction?
In the near future, we will no longer have currency or trade.
A bold statement, I know, but it has the benefit of being possible, unlike quite a few other predictions or prophecies. This prediction has all of the best parts of any good prediction. It has a set goal, an approximate time frame, and is bold. “In the near future” means anytime between now and the distant future, so history can look back on this when the event eventually happens and say I was right about everything. Neat, huh?
I'm sure, however, that you are wanting more information. After all, an event of this magnitude is bound to have an effect on all of those who read this, if for no other reason simply because you read it. So, for your sake, I will be kind enough to elaborate a bit. Just be sure not to quote me, as the rest of this isn't officially part of the prediction.
So, how near of a future are we talking about? A few days? Months? Years? My lifetime? Well, as I said, there is no exact date. However, for the sake of the conspiracy theorists, apocalypse nuts, and argument, let's say it'll happen... late 2012. Around the time of the next presidential election. Wait... that may have been a bit too much... Oh well, I might as well give the rest away now, you've probably already guessed it anyway.
In 2012, against all odds, Sarah Palin will be elected as the next president of the United States. I know, I know, it seems ridiculous. I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't figured it out. Think about this, though. If she does get elected, don't you think that'll have serious repercussions on the economy? If you think the drop when Bush took office was bad, this one will make it look like the toss of a coin. EVERYONE in America will pull back their money from the banks, all at once, buy personal safes and store all of their money in those. People will come up short at the bank, panic will spread about the US being out of money, people will start to save rather then spend, and the economy will CRASH. With how bad it is now, this will be significantly worse than the Great Depression.
Without money and with widespread panic, the citizens of America will begin stealing and looting, just to survive. After a little while they will get accustomed to stealing and looting and be more comfortable with bigger, more luxurious items, like refrigerators and ovens. Eventually everyone will be taking anything they want. Where will the law enforcement and army men be when all of this happens? Looting, of course. Only the die hard patriots with any guts will be willing to defend the nation from thievery and they would be easily outnumbered by the rioters.
By this time, the rest of the world is feeling the burden, too. Whether America is the greatest country or not, no one can protest that it is one of the biggest spenders and one of the main cogs of the world's economic machine. So, the entire world would enter a depression, except for the third world countries. In the midst of this crisis, the third world countries, having not felt very much of this, will take this opportunity to attack the first world countries. This will cause many wars around the world to be fought at the same time, including America for a short period before the rioters and looters get too crazy to be controlled. These wars will stimulate the economies of some nations but destroy the economies of most, resulting in the inevitable, worldwide economic collapse.
So, no economy, looting and rioting around the globe, and not enough resources or control to properly start a war, let alone fight it out. Eventually everyone will calm down, realizing that everyone can have everything by just taking it. Survival of the fittest will take over for the government for a little while, then replaced by survival of the smartest, then replaced by survival. There will be brief moments of order, where the people choose someone to lead , but they will be dealt with when the people get bored of them and revert back to anarchy.
At some point, everyone will notice a peculiar thing, they'd gotten so used to the anarchy that they hadn't even noticed that there was no longer any chaos to it. Everyone did what they pleased and took what they wanted, but they are all nice about it.
People will begin producing things just to give them away to other people. In an effort to make this easier, they will make automated factories that will mass produce their product and automated delivery services so people don't have to drive so far. All products will be created in the most pleasant and efficient way, rather than the way that brings the most sales. And, eventually, everyone will be happy, and no one will have any currency or trade to get in the way of that happiness.
Over time the countries will resettle themselves and elect ambassadors to speak for them, but they will be carefully watched and moderated by the people so that they are never ruled again. This will bring the world closer together and eventually unite everyone on the planet. This ideal society will carry on as we explore the galaxy and the universe, which will take a huge leap forward without a budget to get in the way of the materials they need. As a result, the ambassadors will be brought back to coordinate with the other planets and colonies.
And, having orchestrated this entire miracle from start to finish, I will finally fulfill my dream of being President of the world.
… Wait...
Forget you read any of that.
In the near future, we will no longer have currency or trade.
A bold statement, I know, but it has the benefit of being possible, unlike quite a few other predictions or prophecies. This prediction has all of the best parts of any good prediction. It has a set goal, an approximate time frame, and is bold. “In the near future” means anytime between now and the distant future, so history can look back on this when the event eventually happens and say I was right about everything. Neat, huh?
I'm sure, however, that you are wanting more information. After all, an event of this magnitude is bound to have an effect on all of those who read this, if for no other reason simply because you read it. So, for your sake, I will be kind enough to elaborate a bit. Just be sure not to quote me, as the rest of this isn't officially part of the prediction.
So, how near of a future are we talking about? A few days? Months? Years? My lifetime? Well, as I said, there is no exact date. However, for the sake of the conspiracy theorists, apocalypse nuts, and argument, let's say it'll happen... late 2012. Around the time of the next presidential election. Wait... that may have been a bit too much... Oh well, I might as well give the rest away now, you've probably already guessed it anyway.
In 2012, against all odds, Sarah Palin will be elected as the next president of the United States. I know, I know, it seems ridiculous. I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't figured it out. Think about this, though. If she does get elected, don't you think that'll have serious repercussions on the economy? If you think the drop when Bush took office was bad, this one will make it look like the toss of a coin. EVERYONE in America will pull back their money from the banks, all at once, buy personal safes and store all of their money in those. People will come up short at the bank, panic will spread about the US being out of money, people will start to save rather then spend, and the economy will CRASH. With how bad it is now, this will be significantly worse than the Great Depression.
Without money and with widespread panic, the citizens of America will begin stealing and looting, just to survive. After a little while they will get accustomed to stealing and looting and be more comfortable with bigger, more luxurious items, like refrigerators and ovens. Eventually everyone will be taking anything they want. Where will the law enforcement and army men be when all of this happens? Looting, of course. Only the die hard patriots with any guts will be willing to defend the nation from thievery and they would be easily outnumbered by the rioters.
By this time, the rest of the world is feeling the burden, too. Whether America is the greatest country or not, no one can protest that it is one of the biggest spenders and one of the main cogs of the world's economic machine. So, the entire world would enter a depression, except for the third world countries. In the midst of this crisis, the third world countries, having not felt very much of this, will take this opportunity to attack the first world countries. This will cause many wars around the world to be fought at the same time, including America for a short period before the rioters and looters get too crazy to be controlled. These wars will stimulate the economies of some nations but destroy the economies of most, resulting in the inevitable, worldwide economic collapse.
So, no economy, looting and rioting around the globe, and not enough resources or control to properly start a war, let alone fight it out. Eventually everyone will calm down, realizing that everyone can have everything by just taking it. Survival of the fittest will take over for the government for a little while, then replaced by survival of the smartest, then replaced by survival. There will be brief moments of order, where the people choose someone to lead , but they will be dealt with when the people get bored of them and revert back to anarchy.
At some point, everyone will notice a peculiar thing, they'd gotten so used to the anarchy that they hadn't even noticed that there was no longer any chaos to it. Everyone did what they pleased and took what they wanted, but they are all nice about it.
People will begin producing things just to give them away to other people. In an effort to make this easier, they will make automated factories that will mass produce their product and automated delivery services so people don't have to drive so far. All products will be created in the most pleasant and efficient way, rather than the way that brings the most sales. And, eventually, everyone will be happy, and no one will have any currency or trade to get in the way of that happiness.
Over time the countries will resettle themselves and elect ambassadors to speak for them, but they will be carefully watched and moderated by the people so that they are never ruled again. This will bring the world closer together and eventually unite everyone on the planet. This ideal society will carry on as we explore the galaxy and the universe, which will take a huge leap forward without a budget to get in the way of the materials they need. As a result, the ambassadors will be brought back to coordinate with the other planets and colonies.
And, having orchestrated this entire miracle from start to finish, I will finally fulfill my dream of being President of the world.
… Wait...
Forget you read any of that.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
How did that happen?
The bugs are at it again! You all know the bugs I'm referring to. They attack every week. Those filthy, disgusting, sickening, repulsive, hateful, awful, revolting, shameless Peanut Butter Bugs!
Yeah, you've seen their work. Every time you buy a new jar of peanut butter, they're all over it. Before you know it, the entire jar is gone! You only had one, maybe two sandwiches out of it. This doesn't happen with people living by themselves or couples. No, it doesn't like small groups. Get three or more people in one place, though, and they're all over that jar. They never quit.
Why, you may ask, do they not like small groups? Wouldn't they get more peanut butter if they went after the lonely person? Because they are noticed more easily that way. You grab the first sandwich from the jar, and suddenly it's empty? That person would know something was up. It's the same reason they wait until you open the jar to start chowing down. Yes... They're clever little vermin.
This is only the beginning, however, of a much bigger problem! That problem lives in an underlying, parallel universe. It's not so close that we can see it, but it is not so far that we can't interact. This is why our stuff goes missing. This is why some of it comes back. This is why things get destroyed. And this is why no one can be found who is to blame.
This is the realm of the Nothings.
These creatures, some intelligent, some not, are there to run our world from the shadows. The most intelligent, and amiable species in this realm makes sure everything in our realm stays the way it is, and that everything is right where you left it. These are what I like to call Little Blue Men. They're not perfect, though. They do tend to make mistakes. If you left something in a not so obvious place, and they forgot to put it there when you went to look, you won't find it. However, when they remember to put it back, you'll find it right where you left it, probably an hour later.
There are those among the Little Blue Men, who are significantly more malevolent, though. These are the ones that work, in small ways, to take everything you have. These people are responsible for those missing socks, balloons suddenly popping, computers randomly shutting off, and things winding up in the most bizarre locations. When your keys end up in the freezer, your entire bag of laundry is discovered in the shed, your save files go missing, or you just can't seem to find that portable fan on the hottest day of the year, it's because they had a hand in it. And they take special delight in giving things back to you almost immediately after you bought a replacement, making the purchase completely pointless.
Oh, and don't think Peanut Butter Bugs are the only creatures in their world, either. You'll find all sorts of pests living there. There's one for the milk, one for mayo, one for the cheese, one for the meat, and even one for the hot cocoa mix. The more something is opened, the more bugs it will have, and the faster it will go, seemingly without cause.
How do we stop these bugs? Unfortunately, you can't. While they are able to interact with our world, we have yet to discover a way to interact with theirs. You'll know when they've targeted your food stuffs when everything seems to slowly drain away, and yet the top of it is still smooth. You can't really tell with the liquids, but with something like peanut butter, you'll see a perfectly smooth top, when you know you gouged out the center, and you'll know the bugs were there. You're only hope is to move out of your house, and away from the rest of those people. Like I said earlier, they don't like loners or couples. Any more than two people, and they'll start targeting you. You may not be able to get rid of the evil Little Blue Men, but it's possible to live a life without their creatures.
Good luck to you all in avoiding this plague on our supplies. And if anyone finds a way to stop them, please tell me, and I will salute you for it, as well as generously offer you 20% of the royalties from the patent.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
... And It Was Good
Today is the worst day you can ever imagine. Streets will be filled with blood. Cemeteries will generate zombies. Birds, bats, and fish will come flying out of nowhere to try to eat your eyes. Every step, pole, ladder, and desk will be out to trip you up and kill you with one well placed blow to the head. Bells will play louder and louder, drilling the same tune into your head all day long until you go mad. Your bank accounts will freeze. You’ll lose your job. Your home will burn down. Your friends will die. Your family will blame you. You’ll be locked up for life or until sweet, sweet death sweeps you away from it all. And, to top it all off, little girls will try to sell you cookies.
And the worst part is, God decided it was so!
That’s right, today is the one day no one is ever safe. For today is:
SUNDAY THE 15TH!!!
What, you’re not scared of Sunday the 15th? Why not? You’re scared of its brother, Friday the 13th! Is there any more logic in that? We’ve already had two 13ths on a Friday this year, and there will be another in November. We’ve had millions and billions of 13ths on Fridays since this little dust ball came into existence. The world hasn’t ended yet, right?
Most people who believe that Friday the 13th has any significance at all tend to fall into three categories.
1. They believe it is Bad Luck
2. They believe it is Good Luck
3. They believe it was a great series of Movies
Now, which crowd you’re a part of tends to change your travel plans, right?
1. You stay at home and never leave the comfort of your bed
2. You do all of your business/gambling and enjoy better driving conditions
3. You either go out to the movies or stay at home and watch the entire collection
Whose getting the short end of the stick here? There are 17 million people in the US alone who are scared to death of a number in a certain spot on the calendar! Sure, this superstition goes back nearly to the first millennium after a certain holy figure was mercilessly killed and nailed to some wood for all to see, which also happened to be on a Friday, but that doesn’t mean that it holds any significance, good or bad.
You people need to get it through your heads that this day means nothing unless you make it mean something. That’s how the world works. Nothing means anything until you let it mean that. I say, when you’re feeling spooked about the current day, go outside, get some fresh air, and enjoy better driving conditions because 17 million fools are sitting at home instead of driving to work that day.
Happy Buzzards Day!
And the worst part is, God decided it was so!
That’s right, today is the one day no one is ever safe. For today is:
SUNDAY THE 15TH!!!
What, you’re not scared of Sunday the 15th? Why not? You’re scared of its brother, Friday the 13th! Is there any more logic in that? We’ve already had two 13ths on a Friday this year, and there will be another in November. We’ve had millions and billions of 13ths on Fridays since this little dust ball came into existence. The world hasn’t ended yet, right?
Most people who believe that Friday the 13th has any significance at all tend to fall into three categories.
1. They believe it is Bad Luck
2. They believe it is Good Luck
3. They believe it was a great series of Movies
Now, which crowd you’re a part of tends to change your travel plans, right?
1. You stay at home and never leave the comfort of your bed
2. You do all of your business/gambling and enjoy better driving conditions
3. You either go out to the movies or stay at home and watch the entire collection
Whose getting the short end of the stick here? There are 17 million people in the US alone who are scared to death of a number in a certain spot on the calendar! Sure, this superstition goes back nearly to the first millennium after a certain holy figure was mercilessly killed and nailed to some wood for all to see, which also happened to be on a Friday, but that doesn’t mean that it holds any significance, good or bad.
You people need to get it through your heads that this day means nothing unless you make it mean something. That’s how the world works. Nothing means anything until you let it mean that. I say, when you’re feeling spooked about the current day, go outside, get some fresh air, and enjoy better driving conditions because 17 million fools are sitting at home instead of driving to work that day.
Happy Buzzards Day!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Future Travel
Technology is growing quickly. As a result, people are coming up with various ideas of what travel wil be like someday. While some invision flying cars (or as I like to call them, privat jets), others invision teleporters or controlled wormholes which can instantly take you from point A to point B.
You know, in the past we had something similar to this method of transportation. It was called teleporting. You had to study at the finest of mage schools for at least four years in order to learn this skill. After that it was simply a manner of making sure you had enough magic to use, then just teleport. For the non-magicaly inclined, this same feat could be achived with a catapult.
Don't believe me? Of course not. Who would today? With all the technology running around, people have stopped believing in magic. If it can't be explained scientifically, then it can't be real. This is the beliefe that is depriving the world of magic. Of course, I suppose this does benifet those who don't know any magic, but for those of us who do it can make a simple trip to a neighboring dimension a little difficult to pull off.
So in conclusion, enjoy your ideas of future travel while you can. In the end, the whole universe will be made into clockworks and nothing exciting will ever happen again. Everything will have been invented and everything will have been predicted, and you will be left to rot in stasis for all eternity... Unless you're willing to fight against it, that is.
I'm the OmniEpic Wizard, you are not.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Here Kitty Kitty
Okay, I’m sure a lot of you remember a post I made a couple of years ago… Well, some of you… Maybe one of you…
…
A couple of years ago I made a post about humanity needing to fight for it’s existence at the hands of the computers and aliens, both of whom would really like to take us over, quickly, efficiently, and probably only after we are all dead. However, I also mentioned something very strange to most people, which didn’t seem to get any kind of reaction at all. I mentioned that cats are sentient beings with great intelligence that allows them to control us.
I know you are thinking to yourself “Yeah well, that joke wasn’t bad enough to question.”
It wasn’t a joke.
In the far, far distant future of 10,000 BC (not the movie) cats will enter our homes, learn to get our attention whenever they want it, teach us to serve their every need (sometimes on hand and foot) and never have to lift a claw again.
Notice the year I listed? BC? This already happened 12,000 years ago! In the middle east a bunch of Wild Cats decided to try living with some humans. It was at this time they found out they could domesticate them and train them to be their servants. Makes you wonder how they managed this. We’ve bested dogs, fish, turtles, birds, rodents, even the insects. So how could we simply give in to the feline when so many others serve us?
It’s because they purr. That’s all it takes. If a cat purrs once, JUST ONCE, you are its slave for life! It’s not because it is cute, it’s because they developed the purr to brainwash humans into doing what they want. If a cat jumps on your lap, lays down, and starts to purr, do you knock it off and get it de-clawed as punishment? No! It’s so nice and comfy and cute! You let it lay there for a good five hours. YOUR LEGS ARE GOING NUMB and yet you refuse to wake the adorable little kitty.
You don’t think cats have us trained? You think we domesticated them? How about a little proof, then.
Your cat meows, you feed it. Your cat goes to the door (If it prefers to be an outside cat), you let it out. It purrs, you pet it. It gets in the way of what you are doing, you pay attention to it. You’ve got work to do on the computer, your cat hit’s the switch, you get angry but pick it up onto your lap as you start all over again and pet it on occasion as it sits there, using you as a bed, because you can’t possibly stay mad at the little kitty that doesn’t know any better.
My Gods, we are a pathetic bunch. We have been completely, and thoroughly beaten into submission by a species the size of our heads with little to know physical strength.
I embrace it, however. As I mentioned in July of ‘07, we are going to need them when the aliens and computers begin to take over. You’ll never see them lift a claw, but they will be helping us in their own, secretive way, just to make sure the race they can control comes out on top.
If you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to build a shrine in honor of our feline overlords.
…
A couple of years ago I made a post about humanity needing to fight for it’s existence at the hands of the computers and aliens, both of whom would really like to take us over, quickly, efficiently, and probably only after we are all dead. However, I also mentioned something very strange to most people, which didn’t seem to get any kind of reaction at all. I mentioned that cats are sentient beings with great intelligence that allows them to control us.
I know you are thinking to yourself “Yeah well, that joke wasn’t bad enough to question.”
It wasn’t a joke.
In the far, far distant future of 10,000 BC (not the movie) cats will enter our homes, learn to get our attention whenever they want it, teach us to serve their every need (sometimes on hand and foot) and never have to lift a claw again.
Notice the year I listed? BC? This already happened 12,000 years ago! In the middle east a bunch of Wild Cats decided to try living with some humans. It was at this time they found out they could domesticate them and train them to be their servants. Makes you wonder how they managed this. We’ve bested dogs, fish, turtles, birds, rodents, even the insects. So how could we simply give in to the feline when so many others serve us?
It’s because they purr. That’s all it takes. If a cat purrs once, JUST ONCE, you are its slave for life! It’s not because it is cute, it’s because they developed the purr to brainwash humans into doing what they want. If a cat jumps on your lap, lays down, and starts to purr, do you knock it off and get it de-clawed as punishment? No! It’s so nice and comfy and cute! You let it lay there for a good five hours. YOUR LEGS ARE GOING NUMB and yet you refuse to wake the adorable little kitty.
You don’t think cats have us trained? You think we domesticated them? How about a little proof, then.
Your cat meows, you feed it. Your cat goes to the door (If it prefers to be an outside cat), you let it out. It purrs, you pet it. It gets in the way of what you are doing, you pay attention to it. You’ve got work to do on the computer, your cat hit’s the switch, you get angry but pick it up onto your lap as you start all over again and pet it on occasion as it sits there, using you as a bed, because you can’t possibly stay mad at the little kitty that doesn’t know any better.
My Gods, we are a pathetic bunch. We have been completely, and thoroughly beaten into submission by a species the size of our heads with little to know physical strength.
I embrace it, however. As I mentioned in July of ‘07, we are going to need them when the aliens and computers begin to take over. You’ll never see them lift a claw, but they will be helping us in their own, secretive way, just to make sure the race they can control comes out on top.
If you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to build a shrine in honor of our feline overlords.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Feel The Rush
Oh the weather outside is… quite nice actually…
And the fire is… non-existent…
And since we’ve… anywhere we want to go…
…
Please Don’t Snow!
Please Don’t Snow!
PLEASE DON’T SNOW!!!
WARNING: Children should not read this post, as it contains violent scenes as well as disillusionment on the part of one Fat Man with a Read Coat.
That’s right, folks, it’s now December, meaning most of the Northern Hemisphere is covered in the white stuff. Any time now, all the good (and bad) little Christian, Jewish, and Catholic (and anyone else with the inclination) girls and boys will see sugar plums (a very sweet candy in their minds) dancing and stay awake very anxiously (until they collapse from exhaustion) to see if one jolly elf (whoever happens to be in charge of them) will leave them presents that only a mystical being (the one in control of the mail) would know about and be able to grant them.
That’s right, Santa Clause is coming to town!
It’s still a little ways off, but people have experienced the bums rush at the stores already. Black Friday showed frantic consumers, worried store clerks, and even a death toll over in - WAIT A MINUTE! Where is this information coming from? I was at one of the stores in question. Sure, there was a lot of people there, and the clerks were forced to respond accordingly, but there was no pushing, no shoving, certainly no deaths, and the only two guys trying to cause a fight were ignored implicitly. It seems to me that the media is once again influencing the public into believing anything they tell them to get ratings and increase spending.
What’s that? You don’t believe the mass media would be capable of controlling people in such a way? What about the war? The one in Iraq? Or is it Iran? No, I think it’s supposed to be Afghanistan… Anyway, the war on the entire middle east is not only the fault of one monkey who jumped the gun, several times, in an attempt to escape the chambered bullet, but also of the media, who perpetrated a false sense of alarm, added onto the already growing distress of the American people.
Even Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert and the Religion Wars, has noticed the power of the media to influence the public into doing whatever they want them to, through careful words and nudging. How do you think we got the president-elect we currently have? Or the current president? It was all through the media. The media showed all the darker sides of Senator Clinton, and all the lighter sides of Senator Obama. They confused the public with misinformation and propaganda about Al Gore, to allow Bush into office. This happened not once, but twice. I’m not saying Obama is the wrong choice, but he seemed to be the only choice as far as the media was concerned.
Back to the deaths, for a moment. There actually were a couple of deaths at a Wal-Mart store. It wasn’t anything to do with one person robbing another, like most people think Black Friday would cause. It was very simple. There were far too many people waiting in line at a store that sells things incredibly cheap that was having a sale to make things a whole lot cheaper, and in their excitement, these people trampled over other people, resulting in their deaths. So far, as I understand it, there was one store clerk, and one unborn child killed that day due to a stampede.
Are these people to blame for trampling over innocent people? No, not really. They had gone temporarily insane from the sale and no longer had control over their bodies as they were striving to get their loved one, or themselves, the item they always wanted at the one time of the year they could afford it. Should we blame the unsuspecting people that got trampled? Of course not, they were victims in this unfortunate situation. What about the stores? Are they to blame? Not in the slightest. The stores were only capitalizing on the potential profits, like anyone else would do. So who is at fault for this horrible act? Why, the people who caused the mob to go insane in the first place. The Media. They caused the stores to sell lower, which caused the mob, which killed the people. I say, all those people who were causing a panic through advertising the date, the time, the price, and the panic, all at once, should be put behind bars and beaten with a stick at random intervals just to give them the same feeling of panic that the troop of consumers felt as they waited outside their favorite store, hoping to get at their main purchase before anyone else.
So, the media caused the War of the Third-Worlds; the election of whichever president they felt best suited them at the time; the mobs and rioting on black Friday; and the deaths of anyone, physically or politically, that was involved with any of these events. These mass murdering dictators must be stopped. It’s bad enough the internet is full of lies, we can always ignore those, we don’t need these lies thrown at our faces on every news medium man has ever invented. They control our hearts, our minds, and our lives.
They must be stopped!
Poison them! Drown them! Bash them in the head! Got any chloroform? I don’t care how you kill the little beasts, BUT DO IT!
QUICKLY! BEFORE THEY -
<= This transmission has been cut off due to lies, conspiracy theories, and copyright infringement =>
And the fire is… non-existent…
And since we’ve… anywhere we want to go…
…
Please Don’t Snow!
Please Don’t Snow!
PLEASE DON’T SNOW!!!
WARNING: Children should not read this post, as it contains violent scenes as well as disillusionment on the part of one Fat Man with a Read Coat.
That’s right, folks, it’s now December, meaning most of the Northern Hemisphere is covered in the white stuff. Any time now, all the good (and bad) little Christian, Jewish, and Catholic (and anyone else with the inclination) girls and boys will see sugar plums (a very sweet candy in their minds) dancing and stay awake very anxiously (until they collapse from exhaustion) to see if one jolly elf (whoever happens to be in charge of them) will leave them presents that only a mystical being (the one in control of the mail) would know about and be able to grant them.
That’s right, Santa Clause is coming to town!
It’s still a little ways off, but people have experienced the bums rush at the stores already. Black Friday showed frantic consumers, worried store clerks, and even a death toll over in - WAIT A MINUTE! Where is this information coming from? I was at one of the stores in question. Sure, there was a lot of people there, and the clerks were forced to respond accordingly, but there was no pushing, no shoving, certainly no deaths, and the only two guys trying to cause a fight were ignored implicitly. It seems to me that the media is once again influencing the public into believing anything they tell them to get ratings and increase spending.
What’s that? You don’t believe the mass media would be capable of controlling people in such a way? What about the war? The one in Iraq? Or is it Iran? No, I think it’s supposed to be Afghanistan… Anyway, the war on the entire middle east is not only the fault of one monkey who jumped the gun, several times, in an attempt to escape the chambered bullet, but also of the media, who perpetrated a false sense of alarm, added onto the already growing distress of the American people.
Even Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert and the Religion Wars, has noticed the power of the media to influence the public into doing whatever they want them to, through careful words and nudging. How do you think we got the president-elect we currently have? Or the current president? It was all through the media. The media showed all the darker sides of Senator Clinton, and all the lighter sides of Senator Obama. They confused the public with misinformation and propaganda about Al Gore, to allow Bush into office. This happened not once, but twice. I’m not saying Obama is the wrong choice, but he seemed to be the only choice as far as the media was concerned.
Back to the deaths, for a moment. There actually were a couple of deaths at a Wal-Mart store. It wasn’t anything to do with one person robbing another, like most people think Black Friday would cause. It was very simple. There were far too many people waiting in line at a store that sells things incredibly cheap that was having a sale to make things a whole lot cheaper, and in their excitement, these people trampled over other people, resulting in their deaths. So far, as I understand it, there was one store clerk, and one unborn child killed that day due to a stampede.
Are these people to blame for trampling over innocent people? No, not really. They had gone temporarily insane from the sale and no longer had control over their bodies as they were striving to get their loved one, or themselves, the item they always wanted at the one time of the year they could afford it. Should we blame the unsuspecting people that got trampled? Of course not, they were victims in this unfortunate situation. What about the stores? Are they to blame? Not in the slightest. The stores were only capitalizing on the potential profits, like anyone else would do. So who is at fault for this horrible act? Why, the people who caused the mob to go insane in the first place. The Media. They caused the stores to sell lower, which caused the mob, which killed the people. I say, all those people who were causing a panic through advertising the date, the time, the price, and the panic, all at once, should be put behind bars and beaten with a stick at random intervals just to give them the same feeling of panic that the troop of consumers felt as they waited outside their favorite store, hoping to get at their main purchase before anyone else.
So, the media caused the War of the Third-Worlds; the election of whichever president they felt best suited them at the time; the mobs and rioting on black Friday; and the deaths of anyone, physically or politically, that was involved with any of these events. These mass murdering dictators must be stopped. It’s bad enough the internet is full of lies, we can always ignore those, we don’t need these lies thrown at our faces on every news medium man has ever invented. They control our hearts, our minds, and our lives.
They must be stopped!
Poison them! Drown them! Bash them in the head! Got any chloroform? I don’t care how you kill the little beasts, BUT DO IT!
QUICKLY! BEFORE THEY -
<= This transmission has been cut off due to lies, conspiracy theories, and copyright infringement =>
Thursday, December 4, 2008
On A Stick
I've come to notice that a lot of people seem to have some funny ideas for the future. Getting passed all the people who believe the world will end soon we find people believing that we will have flying cars, cities in the sky and even colonies on mars. However, the funniest one is that people believe our food will soon appear in capsul/tablet form.
Now I'm not usually one to predict the future, but in this case I must step in because as far as food goes people really haven't been paying attention to the trends. To put food in the form of some pill is far too boring and steril for humanity. Not to worry though, I have a more accurate idea for the shape of food in the future... On a stick.
That's right, in the future most of the food you buy will be on a stick. That's not to say that all food will be in stick form, but for the most part you will probably be able to find it that way. It's already started, especially in places like America and Japan, and it won't be long before we start to see things like pizza on a stick or frozen beer on a stick. We are human beings, not robots. This is the way we like to do things, this is the way we like to live... On a stick.
Well, now that I've corrected one theory about the future perhaps you'll look into some of your other theories with an updated opinion. I'm the OmniEpic Wizard. I write it so you don't have to.
Now I'm not usually one to predict the future, but in this case I must step in because as far as food goes people really haven't been paying attention to the trends. To put food in the form of some pill is far too boring and steril for humanity. Not to worry though, I have a more accurate idea for the shape of food in the future... On a stick.
That's right, in the future most of the food you buy will be on a stick. That's not to say that all food will be in stick form, but for the most part you will probably be able to find it that way. It's already started, especially in places like America and Japan, and it won't be long before we start to see things like pizza on a stick or frozen beer on a stick. We are human beings, not robots. This is the way we like to do things, this is the way we like to live... On a stick.
Well, now that I've corrected one theory about the future perhaps you'll look into some of your other theories with an updated opinion. I'm the OmniEpic Wizard. I write it so you don't have to.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Little Deminders
Everyone loves snow flakes. They are some of the most beautiful things in nature and they come in all sizes. There are small ones, big ones, even ball shaped ones and they all come in many other shapes as well. Truly no two snow flakes are alike.
...Or are they?
Not too many people know this, but the snow flakes actually do repeat themselves. There are a wide variety of snow flakes, of course, but every so often the cycle repeats itself. So why don't we notice, you ask? Can it be that we are not able to remember so many different snow flakes? No. If that were the case, we'd still recognise a few. I'm afraid the answer is a lot more complex than that.
To put it simply, there are nuralizers in the snow flakes. Yes, I know it's hard to believe for those of you with tiny minds. Just as it is difficult to make a dog understand physics, but I'll do my best.
For best results, I'd like to run an experiment. Next time you see a snow flake, hold onto that image long enough to draw it on a piece of paper. Continue this process for a while and get back to me when you have a matching pattern.
...Now don't you feel stupid? If this proof isn't enough for you, then think about this. The snow flakes seem to shine and sparkle as they fall, don't they? That's not light reflection. Those are thousands of tiny flashes directed at your eyes by the nuralizers inside each snow flake with the intent of causing you to forget a snow flake with each flash. It's actually a wonderfull system. You might wonder why there are never tiny machines laying around after the snow melts if this were the case, but you see the machines are made out of ice and are wind powered. There can be no other explination.
I hope this has been an enlightening insight for you all and that you will walk the realm of reality with a little more caution from now on. If not, then just try not to stare at the snow flakes. Sometimes they misfire and zap the wrong memory.
I'm the OmniEpic Wizard. I write it so you don't have to.
Turkey Day!!!
Here’s a thought: What’s up with Thanksgiving?
I mean, I understand the concept of the holiday, we are giving thanks for everything we have and will receive. But, wasn’t this holiday made because of the Native-Americans (Hereby Referred To As Indians) having dinner with the Colonists many years ago? They had some food, the colonists had some food, they decided to eat together, in friendship.
However, whether you believe this holiday is all about giving thanks, or celebrating our friendship with the Indians, how did we turn it into what it is today, an all you can eat buffet of turkey, ham, potatoes, eggs, and anything else you can get your hands on? Eliminating the religious aspect of giving thanks to whatever god you believe in, just being thankful for the food is all anyone does anymore, and that’s more like Bart Simpson’s phrase:
Dear Lord, we paid for all this food ourselves, so thanks for nothing.
Like I said, let’s not include religions into this, and just look at the holiday itself. We’ve covered that we don’t give thanks the way we should anymore, so what about the Indians? What are we doing to show friendship to them? Have you seen the decorations for this holiday? One of the prominent ones is a turkey (Smiling, I might add, as opposed to being terrified of being eaten) dressed as a pilgrim and holding an old gun. Where’s the turkey’s brother, the one dressed as an Indian? I know there are decorations out there depicting Indians taking part, but most of it is about the colonists.
In short, this entire holiday has become nothing but a dedication to ourselves, and how much food we can cram into our mouths before the day is through. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, I love a good meal as much as the next man. What I am saying is that this holiday has lost its way.
So, think about this truth, when you and your family are settling down to eat, in whatever room you happen to be sitting in (probably the living room watching Garfield’s Thanksgiving special on TV) and try to give a little more thanks for what you’ve got, and just a tad more for the Indians that made this holiday possible.
Oh yeah, and the stores have been claiming that Christmas is just around the corner for a few months now, so be sure to give thanks for fat men in red coats who break into people’s houses, eat their cookies, drink their milk, and leave random objects under the most flammable object in the room.
I mean, I understand the concept of the holiday, we are giving thanks for everything we have and will receive. But, wasn’t this holiday made because of the Native-Americans (Hereby Referred To As Indians) having dinner with the Colonists many years ago? They had some food, the colonists had some food, they decided to eat together, in friendship.
However, whether you believe this holiday is all about giving thanks, or celebrating our friendship with the Indians, how did we turn it into what it is today, an all you can eat buffet of turkey, ham, potatoes, eggs, and anything else you can get your hands on? Eliminating the religious aspect of giving thanks to whatever god you believe in, just being thankful for the food is all anyone does anymore, and that’s more like Bart Simpson’s phrase:
Dear Lord, we paid for all this food ourselves, so thanks for nothing.
Like I said, let’s not include religions into this, and just look at the holiday itself. We’ve covered that we don’t give thanks the way we should anymore, so what about the Indians? What are we doing to show friendship to them? Have you seen the decorations for this holiday? One of the prominent ones is a turkey (Smiling, I might add, as opposed to being terrified of being eaten) dressed as a pilgrim and holding an old gun. Where’s the turkey’s brother, the one dressed as an Indian? I know there are decorations out there depicting Indians taking part, but most of it is about the colonists.
In short, this entire holiday has become nothing but a dedication to ourselves, and how much food we can cram into our mouths before the day is through. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, I love a good meal as much as the next man. What I am saying is that this holiday has lost its way.
So, think about this truth, when you and your family are settling down to eat, in whatever room you happen to be sitting in (probably the living room watching Garfield’s Thanksgiving special on TV) and try to give a little more thanks for what you’ve got, and just a tad more for the Indians that made this holiday possible.
Oh yeah, and the stores have been claiming that Christmas is just around the corner for a few months now, so be sure to give thanks for fat men in red coats who break into people’s houses, eat their cookies, drink their milk, and leave random objects under the most flammable object in the room.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
A Perfected Imperfection
Let’s start off by telling you that I am a procrastinator.
No duh.
I know I said in the description of this blog that I wouldn’t talk about myself, but, seriously, who doesn’t know this by now? It’s been a long time since I wrote one of these. It’s painfully obvious that someone procrastinates when they haven’t updated a weekly blog in two months.
See? I just did it again. I just went and looked up the date of my last blog entry. Not to add a bit more information to the blog, but to stop myself from needing to write more that exact second. Heck, I’m procrastinating right now! This entire blog entry is an excuse for me to stay awake. It’s after 1:00 AM and I’m writing this just so that I don’t have to go to bed. I know I have to (I’m tired, it’s late, I’m the only one up) but I really don’t want to yet.
So, here I am, finally getting around to writing a new blog entry. Why? Because it is lower on the list of things I have to do than going to bed, though not by much. See, that’s how we procrastinators work. We have a set list of things that we absolutely have to do, whether already over-due or not, and we tend to migrate to the one about half-way down the list. Why not go all the way to the bottom? What else would you have to do when you don’t want to do what you’re doing? It’s quite simple.
It’s a lot worse with people who procrastinate and are lazy. Then, not only do they not want to do anything high up on the list, they don’t want to bother to look at the list to find out what they can do to avoid it. So, they end up doing nothing. Watching TV, surfing the net, playing some games, listening to music, playing jump rope with some seaweed, whatever pops into their head at the time that isn’t at all important. These are the people who always go past deadlines and do horrible jobs on things because they have to rush something to get it in at all.
These people are completely undependable.
As I said, I am one of these people. In fact, the only reason I defaulted this high up is because my favorite video site is down and I’m too lazy to find a new one. However, there seems to be hope for us. According to John Perry there is a way to make this defect work for us, but it involves a little self-trickery.
I’ve been slowly realizing this by myself, but my procrastinating nature never got around to finishing the puzzle. All you have to do is assign yourself tasks that seem very important (but aren’t) and seem to have a set deadline (but don’t) and trick yourself into thinking that it is the most important thing on the list. Then, you start to do the things that need to get done as a way to avoid the bigger (yet unimportant) project. If you constantly check back with your mental list of important things that need to be done that are lower on the list than the big project, you’ll get a lot done, and feel a lot better about yourself. People will also start to notice you as someone who gets a lot of work done, rather than someone who gets nothing done.
It’s a bit of a relief that we can put two bad qualities of ourselves to good use, procrastination and self-delusion. As long as we keep these in mind, we can always get what we want done.
Now then, let’s see if that video site is up and running again.
No duh.
I know I said in the description of this blog that I wouldn’t talk about myself, but, seriously, who doesn’t know this by now? It’s been a long time since I wrote one of these. It’s painfully obvious that someone procrastinates when they haven’t updated a weekly blog in two months.
See? I just did it again. I just went and looked up the date of my last blog entry. Not to add a bit more information to the blog, but to stop myself from needing to write more that exact second. Heck, I’m procrastinating right now! This entire blog entry is an excuse for me to stay awake. It’s after 1:00 AM and I’m writing this just so that I don’t have to go to bed. I know I have to (I’m tired, it’s late, I’m the only one up) but I really don’t want to yet.
So, here I am, finally getting around to writing a new blog entry. Why? Because it is lower on the list of things I have to do than going to bed, though not by much. See, that’s how we procrastinators work. We have a set list of things that we absolutely have to do, whether already over-due or not, and we tend to migrate to the one about half-way down the list. Why not go all the way to the bottom? What else would you have to do when you don’t want to do what you’re doing? It’s quite simple.
It’s a lot worse with people who procrastinate and are lazy. Then, not only do they not want to do anything high up on the list, they don’t want to bother to look at the list to find out what they can do to avoid it. So, they end up doing nothing. Watching TV, surfing the net, playing some games, listening to music, playing jump rope with some seaweed, whatever pops into their head at the time that isn’t at all important. These are the people who always go past deadlines and do horrible jobs on things because they have to rush something to get it in at all.
These people are completely undependable.
As I said, I am one of these people. In fact, the only reason I defaulted this high up is because my favorite video site is down and I’m too lazy to find a new one. However, there seems to be hope for us. According to John Perry there is a way to make this defect work for us, but it involves a little self-trickery.
I’ve been slowly realizing this by myself, but my procrastinating nature never got around to finishing the puzzle. All you have to do is assign yourself tasks that seem very important (but aren’t) and seem to have a set deadline (but don’t) and trick yourself into thinking that it is the most important thing on the list. Then, you start to do the things that need to get done as a way to avoid the bigger (yet unimportant) project. If you constantly check back with your mental list of important things that need to be done that are lower on the list than the big project, you’ll get a lot done, and feel a lot better about yourself. People will also start to notice you as someone who gets a lot of work done, rather than someone who gets nothing done.
It’s a bit of a relief that we can put two bad qualities of ourselves to good use, procrastination and self-delusion. As long as we keep these in mind, we can always get what we want done.
Now then, let’s see if that video site is up and running again.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
PSA - For Your Safety
This is a Public Service Announcement, sponsored by Families Ranting About Underhanded Doctoral Service.
Anyone who is sick, feels sick, or knows someone who is/feels sick, DO NOT GO TO THE HOSPITAL! You may visit the clinic, you may see your doctor, you may acquire medication from your local pharmacy, but DO NOT GO TO THE HOSPITAL! Statistics have shown that more people die in the hospital than anywhere else. This includes wars, which have military hospitals.
“I’m sorry, Miss, but your husband has passed away.”
“He’s dead? What did you do to him? He was alive when I brought him in!”
Don’t let this happen to you. If you or a loved one is ill, please seek professional help at your local clinic or ask your doctor to come to your home.
Many people have died at the hospital, even from routine check-ups. The main cause is the Staff Infection. This is an infection that can only be gotten in a hospital, and seems to be in every hospital around the world. You or your loved one will be in the hospital, perfectly healthy, and become infected, over night. Once the infection has started, the hospital staff will immediately quarantine the patient, where they will die, and will probably be alone.
Hospital supplies are constantly changing and being replaced, yet the infection remains in every hospital. There is only one thing that remains the same, the Staff. Every hospital has hospital Staff. Every hospital has the Staff Infection. This is not a coincidence. There is only one way any patient could become infected with the Staff Infection, and that is if they got it from the Staff at the hospital. There is no known cure for this infection and every “method” that is tried seems to fail, resulting in the death of the patient. The only reasonable solution is that the Staff are the ones killing the patients by giving them an infection that they arrogantly named after themselves, the Staff Infection.
Please, if you care about your loved ones and wish to protect them, and yourself, from certain death, do not check into a hospital. If you ever find yourself in one, leave as soon as you can, and write out your will before your Uncle Dave gets everything your own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This post is dedicated to the greatest comedian of all time, George Carlin, who died recently, only one week before receiving the “Best Comedian” award. He died of heart failure while lying in the hospital. I never knew him personally, but I will miss him deeply, as will all of you, I’m sure.
I guess he’s down there now, smiling up at us, because we’re next.
Anyone who is sick, feels sick, or knows someone who is/feels sick, DO NOT GO TO THE HOSPITAL! You may visit the clinic, you may see your doctor, you may acquire medication from your local pharmacy, but DO NOT GO TO THE HOSPITAL! Statistics have shown that more people die in the hospital than anywhere else. This includes wars, which have military hospitals.
“I’m sorry, Miss, but your husband has passed away.”
“He’s dead? What did you do to him? He was alive when I brought him in!”
Don’t let this happen to you. If you or a loved one is ill, please seek professional help at your local clinic or ask your doctor to come to your home.
Many people have died at the hospital, even from routine check-ups. The main cause is the Staff Infection. This is an infection that can only be gotten in a hospital, and seems to be in every hospital around the world. You or your loved one will be in the hospital, perfectly healthy, and become infected, over night. Once the infection has started, the hospital staff will immediately quarantine the patient, where they will die, and will probably be alone.
Hospital supplies are constantly changing and being replaced, yet the infection remains in every hospital. There is only one thing that remains the same, the Staff. Every hospital has hospital Staff. Every hospital has the Staff Infection. This is not a coincidence. There is only one way any patient could become infected with the Staff Infection, and that is if they got it from the Staff at the hospital. There is no known cure for this infection and every “method” that is tried seems to fail, resulting in the death of the patient. The only reasonable solution is that the Staff are the ones killing the patients by giving them an infection that they arrogantly named after themselves, the Staff Infection.
Please, if you care about your loved ones and wish to protect them, and yourself, from certain death, do not check into a hospital. If you ever find yourself in one, leave as soon as you can, and write out your will before your Uncle Dave gets everything your own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This post is dedicated to the greatest comedian of all time, George Carlin, who died recently, only one week before receiving the “Best Comedian” award. He died of heart failure while lying in the hospital. I never knew him personally, but I will miss him deeply, as will all of you, I’m sure.
I guess he’s down there now, smiling up at us, because we’re next.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Think for yourself
I’ve found free will! It’s hard to imagine this sentence starting a blog entry, but I had, indeed, found it!
Let’s start by taking science into consideration. According to our biology, we have no free will. We simply walk around, reacting certain ways to certain things. We think we are making choices for ourselves, but it is our experience that drives our decisions. When you are asked a yes or no question, you usually speak the truth.
Are you alive?
Yes.
However, based on who is asking the question, under what situation, and from past experience, you could answer with a lie.
You get shot by a rather dim-witted person.
Are you alive?
No.
Well, alright.
See? It was not your will that made you say no, but your experience. Obviously, this is not the best example, but it will do. Let’s try not to focus on why we don’t have individual free will, and try to get back on the real topic.
As you may have noted from the last sentence, I said “individual” free will. What I’m implying is that you do not have a will of your own, you only gain free will in groups.
Many times, police, governments, even normal citizens have noticed that people are calm, collected, and predictable when they are alone. However, you group a bunch of them together, and you get an unpredictable bunch, where anything can happen. It takes a large group of people to cause this, which is why it usually only happens with angry mobs or soccer riots, it is nearly impossible to get that many people organized, much less for the same cause. However, in that brief moment where all of those people are together, there is free will. You are no longer acting on previous experience, the group, as a whole is deciding things instantly, without thinking about the before or after. Where else do you see free will? Where else do you see this strange behavior, the unpredictability, the large group of people, acting without relying on the past or thinking about the future? I present to you, exhibit B, the internet.
That’s right. Apart from mobs, riots, or anything similar, the internet is the only thing that can generate free will. While you are online, you have the potential to meet thousands of people, within minutes, all of which will effect you differently. This already has an impact on you and your daily life. What you don’t see, however, is that you are on the borderline of free will while you are online, interacting with these people. The internet is the largest gathering of people mankind has ever known. And we all know people evolve better in groups.
We started off alone, not knowing what to do. We formed tribes, giving a bit of order, and slight unpredictability. As technology grew more advanced, people combined into larger groups, becoming more willed, and more intelligent. It only makes sense that this trend would continue. It is only a matter of time before we all join together, thinking as one. That is the point in time when our free will shall emerge. That point is when we will all think for ourselves, and no longer rely purely on the past to predict our future, when we will begin to make decisions immediately, without waiting to see what might happen, and without the brain preparing ourselves, and the world around us for our eventual response.
That is free will.
Let’s start by taking science into consideration. According to our biology, we have no free will. We simply walk around, reacting certain ways to certain things. We think we are making choices for ourselves, but it is our experience that drives our decisions. When you are asked a yes or no question, you usually speak the truth.
Are you alive?
Yes.
However, based on who is asking the question, under what situation, and from past experience, you could answer with a lie.
You get shot by a rather dim-witted person.
Are you alive?
No.
Well, alright.
See? It was not your will that made you say no, but your experience. Obviously, this is not the best example, but it will do. Let’s try not to focus on why we don’t have individual free will, and try to get back on the real topic.
As you may have noted from the last sentence, I said “individual” free will. What I’m implying is that you do not have a will of your own, you only gain free will in groups.
Many times, police, governments, even normal citizens have noticed that people are calm, collected, and predictable when they are alone. However, you group a bunch of them together, and you get an unpredictable bunch, where anything can happen. It takes a large group of people to cause this, which is why it usually only happens with angry mobs or soccer riots, it is nearly impossible to get that many people organized, much less for the same cause. However, in that brief moment where all of those people are together, there is free will. You are no longer acting on previous experience, the group, as a whole is deciding things instantly, without thinking about the before or after. Where else do you see free will? Where else do you see this strange behavior, the unpredictability, the large group of people, acting without relying on the past or thinking about the future? I present to you, exhibit B, the internet.
That’s right. Apart from mobs, riots, or anything similar, the internet is the only thing that can generate free will. While you are online, you have the potential to meet thousands of people, within minutes, all of which will effect you differently. This already has an impact on you and your daily life. What you don’t see, however, is that you are on the borderline of free will while you are online, interacting with these people. The internet is the largest gathering of people mankind has ever known. And we all know people evolve better in groups.
We started off alone, not knowing what to do. We formed tribes, giving a bit of order, and slight unpredictability. As technology grew more advanced, people combined into larger groups, becoming more willed, and more intelligent. It only makes sense that this trend would continue. It is only a matter of time before we all join together, thinking as one. That is the point in time when our free will shall emerge. That point is when we will all think for ourselves, and no longer rely purely on the past to predict our future, when we will begin to make decisions immediately, without waiting to see what might happen, and without the brain preparing ourselves, and the world around us for our eventual response.
That is free will.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Life Revoked
I think it’s safe to say that our future is pretty well set in stone. Not literally, of course. Scientists have found the answers to many secrets that we have been asking questions about for a long time, normal people have been finding their own answers to these same questions. Even the media has figured out that something is happening that others would like to know about that doesn’t involve ruining someone’s life. The secrets I refer to may be too hard for some to grasp, for the secrets are the keys to longevity.
Allow me to simplify this term. Longevity is, in a nut shell, the ability to live for a long time. According to scientists, people being born now have a strong chance to live to be 150 years old. In that time frame, scientists will have come up with something else to increase the life span of the populace. Already, as we are now, people in their forties can, almost literally, turn back the clock to when they were twenty. So, those people living to be 150 may only seem like they are in their seventies, by that point in time. And, since there are people alive now, going into their hundreds, seventies isn’t much. In order for them to reach the new equivalent of 100, they would probably need to reach 200, and, of course, by then they would have figured out something else.
Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I am happy to announce that your children will be able to live forever, with the new advances of science, and probably yourselves as well. Sure, at first we will live into eternity as old, frail beings, but, as time goes by, we will regain our youth and revert to whatever age we want. Eventually, you will be able to pick an age and stick with it for the rest of your life, for however long you think that should be.
Unfortunately, no good thing lasts forever, not even immortality. As the years drag on, you will become bored with your new existence. You will go to work, find you don’t know the job anymore, go to school, learn what you need to know, go back to work, lather , rinse, repeat. Eventually, the routine will become dull. One day, you’ll find yourself quitting your job because you will have become bored of it. You’ll go to a new place to work and you will start at the lowest level, not because you are inexperienced, but because you want to have the full experience and you’ve got enough money to last you for a while. It will be like you were a character in The Sims and someone turned off aging. After a while, your life ceases to have personal meaning.
Of course, boredom is the least of your worries. We all know how the government works. If anything is worth having, it’s worthwhile to limit it. Get used to the phrase, only the poor die young. It will get to the point where you will need a license to live forever. If you are productive, wanted, needed, or wealthy enough, you will gain a license to remain alive. This Living License will cost tons of money, and will be the most fought after card you’ll ever find, and yes, it will be a card. This card will fit nicely into your wallet, or fit on your keychain, depending on which one you bought. The smaller one will cost more than the larger one, because it will be made after the initial card, thus everyone will want it, which will raise the cost more. At some point, the card will be so expensive that only the richest people in the world could afford one, and only the most needed people would be given on for free. As this nightmare becomes reality, the ones who discovered the cure to death will be long since dead, not wanting to go on anymore, and those that bought the licensing rights will become rich men, live forever, having got their licenses before anyone else, and continue to get richer.
Seems like a strange and horrible future, doesn’t it? There will be quite a few people that won’t believe this. It may be hard to accept, but don’t come crawling to me when your license to live gets revoked.
Allow me to simplify this term. Longevity is, in a nut shell, the ability to live for a long time. According to scientists, people being born now have a strong chance to live to be 150 years old. In that time frame, scientists will have come up with something else to increase the life span of the populace. Already, as we are now, people in their forties can, almost literally, turn back the clock to when they were twenty. So, those people living to be 150 may only seem like they are in their seventies, by that point in time. And, since there are people alive now, going into their hundreds, seventies isn’t much. In order for them to reach the new equivalent of 100, they would probably need to reach 200, and, of course, by then they would have figured out something else.
Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I am happy to announce that your children will be able to live forever, with the new advances of science, and probably yourselves as well. Sure, at first we will live into eternity as old, frail beings, but, as time goes by, we will regain our youth and revert to whatever age we want. Eventually, you will be able to pick an age and stick with it for the rest of your life, for however long you think that should be.
Unfortunately, no good thing lasts forever, not even immortality. As the years drag on, you will become bored with your new existence. You will go to work, find you don’t know the job anymore, go to school, learn what you need to know, go back to work, lather , rinse, repeat. Eventually, the routine will become dull. One day, you’ll find yourself quitting your job because you will have become bored of it. You’ll go to a new place to work and you will start at the lowest level, not because you are inexperienced, but because you want to have the full experience and you’ve got enough money to last you for a while. It will be like you were a character in The Sims and someone turned off aging. After a while, your life ceases to have personal meaning.
Of course, boredom is the least of your worries. We all know how the government works. If anything is worth having, it’s worthwhile to limit it. Get used to the phrase, only the poor die young. It will get to the point where you will need a license to live forever. If you are productive, wanted, needed, or wealthy enough, you will gain a license to remain alive. This Living License will cost tons of money, and will be the most fought after card you’ll ever find, and yes, it will be a card. This card will fit nicely into your wallet, or fit on your keychain, depending on which one you bought. The smaller one will cost more than the larger one, because it will be made after the initial card, thus everyone will want it, which will raise the cost more. At some point, the card will be so expensive that only the richest people in the world could afford one, and only the most needed people would be given on for free. As this nightmare becomes reality, the ones who discovered the cure to death will be long since dead, not wanting to go on anymore, and those that bought the licensing rights will become rich men, live forever, having got their licenses before anyone else, and continue to get richer.
Seems like a strange and horrible future, doesn’t it? There will be quite a few people that won’t believe this. It may be hard to accept, but don’t come crawling to me when your license to live gets revoked.
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