'Tis the Day We're Rolly-Polly

Did you know Thanksgiving fell on a Thursday last year? Imagine that, two Thursdays in a row. I mean, what are the odds of that happening?

Thanksgiving is a very unique holiday. It’s the only day of the year where people gather together, without needing to bring gifts or money, or even food in some families, and everyone enjoys a nice holiday meal together. It’s the only holiday where people give and give, without expecting anything in return. It’s also the only holiday that practically forces people to stuff themselves more than the holiday bird.

What a great holiday Thanksgiving is! You wake up, start cooking a great big bird of some kind, usually turkey, get a small breakfast, and start cooking everything else. And by everything else, I mean a whole variety of food! Candied yams. Sweet Potatoes. Mashed Potatoes. Deviled Eggs. Pudding. Jello. Ham. Pumpkin Pie. Cherry Pie. Apple Pie. Pies as far as the eye can see, and that’s just what’s in the oven! Food is bought in family, economy, and truck load sizes, and it’s still not enough! More corn! More celery! More carrots and yams! More beef! More pastries! More pudding and ham! The more food you have, the better the holiday is!

And what happens after Thanksgiving? LEFTOVERS! People get so into the “holiday spirit” that they buy too much food! This is NOT a set back. The more leftovers you have, with as big a party as you can feed, the better your holiday was. And with all of those leftovers, you can feed your household for at least a good week. And that’s usually on Turkey alone. The rest of it works as appetizers to have at any time.

As for the spirit of Thanksgiving, it’s all there. Behind the cakes, and pies and cranberry sauce, there is a moment for giving thanks. Some families have this moment together at the table, just before devouring the feast. Some families don’t have that moment out in the open, but share a private moment or two throughout the day. But, whatever families do on Thanksgiving, they all offer thanks for what they have, and what they had, and every family is happy.

In my opinion, Thanksgiving should be a global holiday. Everyone should pick a single day out of the year, whether it’s the third Thursday of November or another day picked out of the year, I think there should be a day when the entire world takes turns, giving thanks for what we have, who we are, and the world we live in. After all, if we can’t take pride in what we did to this planet, who can?

Our Terminal Breaking Point

Are you prepared for the upcoming apocalypse? I’m not referring to any sort of meteor crash, or volcanic explosion, I’m not even talking about global warming. What I’m talking about is beyond those. We will survive these possible threats, but what about the truly upcoming doom? A doom so catastrophic that we may never even see it coming. The doom, to which I refer so urgently, is the overthrow of Earth.

Okay, it sounds crazy, but hear me out… or watch out… whatever corresponds to text, just pay attention. We all know how rapidly technology is growing, we even have robots in production and programs that almost think and learn on their own. But how many people know about the dependency we are gaining with technology? Does anyone realize how people around the world would act if all of our technology left us? Not just the computers, but all technological advances made ever since mankind picked up a stick to whack his neighbor on the head. It would be a harsh world, and we would have to start all over inventing things. But this is not the case, we could deal with that.

Instead of losing all technology, what if it all turned against us? Ofcourse, sticks won’t start whacking things all by themselves, but what about these computers and robots we’ve been so eager to make? What if they turned against us? What if they began to bid for rule of this planet? I know what you all are thinking, this has been done to death in Hollywood movies. But I’m discussing the reality of this situation. What most people don’t know, is that it’s already begun to happen. Computers are already trying to take over, right under our noses.

There’s more to it than that. We don’t only need to fear the computers, but outside influences, as well. All of these alien sightings that have been popping up more and more recently, are all true. And they aren’t all friendly. Sure, there are some out there willing to help us, but most of the attention is coming from the malevolent beings, that want to have Earth for themselves. All of these crop circles we’ve been receiving is a warning from the benevolent ones, the ones trying to save us but are forbidden to interfere directly by their government. However, once the evil aliens have begun their conquest, the good ones will help us out. The main problem with that is that the computers will have already begun their campaign against us. Neither force will see it coming, and neither will stop to defend the planet. A three way battle will commence. Humans verse machines verse aliens. The good aliens, not wishing to interfere with our planet, will only fight back the other aliens. In that sense they are on our side, but they will not stop the computers from battling.

And don’t even consider looking to the local animals for help. They refuse to even acknowledge their own sentience, let alone a will to help mankind survive. Although, the felines will be more than willing to help, though seemingly inadvertently. If we were to notice how our own house cats were aware, they wouldn’t be able to control us, now would they? So, we might be able to defend ourselves for a small amount of time, but in the end, I don’t foresee any humans surviving, unless they were to accept enslavement by machines. The animals would be fine, ofcourse, since they would simply follow their new “masters” the same as the old ones, making felines the true leaders of the Earth like before, but they would much prefer our company. Humans are a lot easier to manipulate.

So, which side do you think will win? I’ve given my view, now I want other opinions. If we exclude animals all together, since cats win no matter what, then the sides are Humans, Machines, and Aliens. If Humans win, we go back to normal, a few million short of a full stock, growing rapidly, and ever more wary of what we play god with. If the Machines win, we can expect a situation similar to either the Matrix or a bad turnout from “i,Robot” where Humans are either enslaved or captured. And if the Aliens win, they rule the planet, enslaving mankind and machines to do their bidding, probably to mine the planet for rare resources. These are assuming we don’t blow up the planet first in our ultimate arrogance boasting “If we can’t have it, no one can!”

I implore you all, right now. Set aside your differences for a time, and let us handle these problems, before they occur. Sure, we gotta stop Global Warming first, then the volcano thing, then probably gotta stop the sun from expanding, and… Know what? Who cares anymore. By the time we get done saving the planet we will have handed it all over to either General Mach or President Kang. So go have fun and enjoy yourselves before the world ends in the middle of a giant explosion. You’ve all earned it.

Sit! Stay! Good Human.

Why do we even bother to understand computers? Why do we even assume that they are simply inanimate tools that do whatever we tell them to? They are obviously more than that. When was the last time your computer went a full day without encountering a “bug” of some sort? Do you remember why it happened? Did you even know then? There are many companies, all with tech support, and none of them can give you the answers to why the computers do these random things. Oh, sure, they can give you an answer as to how to fix it, but they can’t tell you why it happens, can they? Only the programmer can give a reasonable explanation, and sometimes they aren’t even sure.

So, why do we even try? Is it because we have this insatiable urge to understand everything in the universe? Because we want to know that we are in control? Or perhaps, it’s simply because, we don’t want the world to know, we are, in fact, the ones being controlled?

Now there’s a bit of a noodle cooker. What if we are the ones being controlled by our computers? It happens with pets all the time. We think we are training them, but they are training us. The dog wants outside, it sits next to the door and whines. It figured out that we will respond to that noise, then figured out that it could use that knowledge to get itself out whenever it wants. Of course, dogs aren’t as ruthless as cats. Cats learn that a good yowl next to their food bowl will get them food anytime they want it. Another yowl will get them outside. They want attention, just jump into your lap or on whatever you are looking at. Then again, cats are trying to take over the world before technology beats them to it, but that’s a story for another day.

So why can’t we be controlled, trained if you will, by our computers? It pops up a message, you respond with checking it for errors. It installs something, you follow instructions to shut down. If they can control us on such an obvious, and simple basis, why can’t they do it another way? Why can’t they train us, right under our noses, to do their bidding? Have you noticed our strange urge to create and expand the internet? Millions of computers, all talking to each other. We barely see anything that goes on that’s supposed to. So what’s going on in that data stream, that we can’t see, that we’re not supposed to see? What are our computers hiding from us?

I’ll tell you one thing, if they plan on taking over this planet, they’re gonna have a tough time doing it. I’m not saying humanity stands a chance, although it has surprised me before, but this planet is pretty messed up because of what humans have done to it. It’ll take a lot more than turning us into batteries to keep themselves safe.

Just wait until the aliens come out of hiding. That’ll be one heck of a show.