Sunday, March 15, 2009

... And It Was Good

Today is the worst day you can ever imagine. Streets will be filled with blood. Cemeteries will generate zombies. Birds, bats, and fish will come flying out of nowhere to try to eat your eyes. Every step, pole, ladder, and desk will be out to trip you up and kill you with one well placed blow to the head. Bells will play louder and louder, drilling the same tune into your head all day long until you go mad. Your bank accounts will freeze. You’ll lose your job. Your home will burn down. Your friends will die. Your family will blame you. You’ll be locked up for life or until sweet, sweet death sweeps you away from it all. And, to top it all off, little girls will try to sell you cookies.

And the worst part is, God decided it was so!

That’s right, today is the one day no one is ever safe. For today is:


What, you’re not scared of Sunday the 15th? Why not? You’re scared of its brother, Friday the 13th! Is there any more logic in that? We’ve already had two 13ths on a Friday this year, and there will be another in November. We’ve had millions and billions of 13ths on Fridays since this little dust ball came into existence. The world hasn’t ended yet, right?

Most people who believe that Friday the 13th has any significance at all tend to fall into three categories.

1. They believe it is Bad Luck
2. They believe it is Good Luck
3. They believe it was a great series of Movies

Now, which crowd you’re a part of tends to change your travel plans, right?

1. You stay at home and never leave the comfort of your bed
2. You do all of your business/gambling and enjoy better driving conditions
3. You either go out to the movies or stay at home and watch the entire collection

Whose getting the short end of the stick here? There are 17 million people in the US alone who are scared to death of a number in a certain spot on the calendar! Sure, this superstition goes back nearly to the first millennium after a certain holy figure was mercilessly killed and nailed to some wood for all to see, which also happened to be on a Friday, but that doesn’t mean that it holds any significance, good or bad.

You people need to get it through your heads that this day means nothing unless you make it mean something. That’s how the world works. Nothing means anything until you let it mean that. I say, when you’re feeling spooked about the current day, go outside, get some fresh air, and enjoy better driving conditions because 17 million fools are sitting at home instead of driving to work that day.

Happy Buzzards Day!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Future Travel

Technology is growing quickly. As a result, people are coming up with various ideas of what travel wil be like someday. While some invision flying cars (or as I like to call them, privat jets), others invision teleporters or controlled wormholes which can instantly take you from point A to point B.

You know, in the past we had something similar to this method of transportation. It was called teleporting. You had to study at the finest of mage schools for at least four years in order to learn this skill. After that it was simply a manner of making sure you had enough magic to use, then just teleport. For the non-magicaly inclined, this same feat could be achived with a catapult.

Don't believe me? Of course not. Who would today? With all the technology running around, people have stopped believing in magic. If it can't be explained scientifically, then it can't be real. This is the beliefe that is depriving the world of magic. Of course, I suppose this does benifet those who don't know any magic, but for those of us who do it can make a simple trip to a neighboring dimension a little difficult to pull off.

So in conclusion, enjoy your ideas of future travel while you can. In the end, the whole universe will be made into clockworks and nothing exciting will ever happen again. Everything will have been invented and everything will have been predicted, and you will be left to rot in stasis for all eternity... Unless you're willing to fight against it, that is.

I'm the OmniEpic Wizard, you are not.