Thursday, July 1, 2010

Troll Bridge

Have you ever tried to have a serious discussion with a Troll? Darn near impossible, isn't it? Try to explain anything to them and they just ignore what you are saying and come back at you with the same thing you've already given your point on. Any serious debate you try to have is ignored, even when you have already proven your side to be correct with facts and evidence. Why are these Trolls so hard to discuss things with? Why does it seem like they try so hard to ignore any logic at all and the only reason they even learned how to talk was so they could enrage you? Well, that's exactly it.

See, while humans have evolved from earlier primates, Trolls evolved from a different creature entirely. Unfortunately we do not know which one. What we do know, however, is that they have evolved with a completely different organ system than ourselves. While we ingest things like meat and plants and water to survive, all a Troll needs is attention and their body produces what they need. In order to receive the most from this attention, without getting too attached to the kind of attention they get, a mental block has evolved in their brains to prevent them from feeling any remorse from what they say.

The side effect of this mental block is that they also are incapable to accepting new information. Once this block grows during puberty, they are incapable of learning anything new ever again. Everything they've ever heard or read about is now fixed in their minds and incapable of going anywhere. The only memories they can retain are short term and, thanks to their stubborn nature, this makes it nearly impossible for any change to occur at all, let alone for longer than a minute or so.

We do not know where the Trolls come from or why they decided we could best feed them. They look like us and can easily pass as us. The only way to tell them apart, as a matter of fact is that they cannot learn anything and get the most pleasure out of making us angry. However, there is one early warning sign. Trolls, despite everything, are a proud people. They know their past and know they did not evolve from primates. When you bring this up, a lot of them will be lost in their pride and absolutely refuse the claim outright.

So, if you find yourself in a heated discussion with someone who refuses to accept anything, repeats their questions when you've already answered them, and gains great enjoyment out of your frustration, try debating evolution with them. If they refuse to let themselves be called an ape, they might just be a Troll.