Friday, August 31, 2007

Ultimately Random

This is the beginning of a series of blog entries that will continue for… the remainder of this blog. Basically, what you are looking at right now, is a filler. Since I can’t think of a decent topic this week, I have decided to start on an idea I had a month back. True, I could just wait until I have another topic idea, but that could be a while, and I am enjoying the consistency. What I have here is a list of randomness. Random quotes, random thoughts, many different things that I have thought about, or heard, but wasn’t enough to make a topic out of. Each one will be small. Each one will be strange, in it’s own way. And each one just might make you laugh. So then, let us begin.

Ran·dom [ran-duhm] –adjective
Proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern.

Have you ever been tired of sleeping?

People will believe anything nowadays.

I am not here. What is here? Isn’t “here” just “there” without a T?
~ Frank Caliendo

I’ll take two bags of chips, double cheeseburger, large fries, onion rings, 20 piece chicken nugget, and a Diet Coke.

And, if you don’t believe me, just click the link below to hear me say it in my own words!

This product is absolutely FREE!*
*Must live in this state, near this city, provide your credit card number, participate in our survey, buy something from our partner, be the 27th caller, answer the question right, move on to the finals, re-write the national anthem, take first place, offer $12.00 shipping and handling, and sign over your first born.

I’m pregnant, you’re the father, and I’m gonna KILL ALL THREE OF US!!!
~ George Carlin

Evolution doesn‘t exist. We came first, we barred all other species from reaching this state, and killed off the dinosaurs for opposing us.

I don’t know about the cat, but my training is coming along nicely.

You should enjoy here while you’re here, because there is no here there.
~ Ziggy

Presidents are like sand castles, you put so much time and effort into them, only to watch them be “corroded” by the “elements” surrounding them.

Jehovah’s Witness: We’re going to heaven, and you’re not.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Special Delivery

Why do people celebrate their birthdays? Can anyone tell me? What’s the significance of celebrating the day you were born? Don’t get me wrong, I love the day. You get all kinds of presents or money, or, even if you are alone, you can always use it as an excuse to eat fattening food like cake without anyone yelling at you. But it has always been a mystery, to many people, why you would celebrate on this day.

Before we dive too far into that, let’s get one thing straight here. It is NOT your birthday. It is, in fact, the anniversary of the day you were born. With the way it’s named, and how some people celebrate it, you’d swear the person was born each and every year all over again. If that was the case, trust me on this one, the mother would have killed herself LONG ago.

Now that we have this settled, let’s begin the discussion. Why do people celebrate this day? The only reason it’s on the day it’s on is because you were stuck in your mother’s body and wanted out. So, is it a celebration of the day you escaped? Why does the mother celebrate this day with you? Imagine all of the pain she was put through while you were ‘escaping’ that day. That doesn’t seem like such a fond memory. Then again, she might be celebrating the day her initial ‘burden’ was finally relieved. The father’s part is obvious. In fact, I bet it was the father’s idea to come up with this day, just so he can say, “Yup, I did that! And it’s stayed alive this long so far!” The kid celebrating is just going along with it. “Hey, I get stuff for free, I can eat cake and ice cream without my parents yelling at me, and I can do anything I want!” Okay, that’s not how it is for everyone, but some kids are treated better then others.

It’s not even accurate anyway! Everyone says you are ‘so many’ years old TODAY! But, actually, you are ‘so many’ years and about nine months. Let’s not forget the time you spent in the womb. You were alive then too. So, you are not that old, you are older, by almost a full year! So, the birthday celebration is on the wrong day anyway. It should be the day of conception. It was a lot more fun anyway, don’t you think? Certainly a much fonder memory, and the day would be accurate for the kid’s age. Then again, I don’t think we need to traumatize little Timmy any more than we already do when we tell him how he was made. The last thing we need is a bunch of adults, gathering around the conception-day presents and telling stories.

Now, I’m not telling everyone to stop celebrating birthdays, nor am I saying you should celebrate them differently, but I do want you all to think about it. Next time you blow out those candles, think about the years ahead of you, as the cake becomes more and more of a fire hazard, and as your own children celebrate their ‘birthdays’ along with you, and think about everything I’ve said here. If nothing else, I hope it brings a little chuckle.

To everyone celebrating, Happy Anniversary.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Jane is right!

What’s this? A picture in the blog? How did that get there?

Well, it’s not a malfunction, but an illustration. I read an article today talking about a new car that has been made by a company called Tesla. It can go 130 MPH, 250 miles per tank, and 0-60 in 4 seconds.

Doesn’t sound that great? What if I told you it was an electric car? Pure, 100% electricity. No gas needed. They never even thought to install the exhaust pipe, because it has no emissions. Now, if you think about a car this cool, going 130 MPH for 250 miles on one charge of electricity... it’s not even a two hour drive, but that’s still pretty good for an electric car. Especially considering the price is only $80,000-$120,000. That’s a lot of money for a car, but that’s pretty cheap if you consider the price of gas nowadays. Believe me, it costs a lot less to charge your car instead of guzzling our fossil fuels.

While we’re on the subject of cool rides, anyone catch that advertisement about the new Mercedes-Benz rumored to be in production? Yeah, I know, another first for me, links in the blog. Anyway, according to this sight, assuming the rumor is true, cars will soon have no steering wheel. Instead, they will be replaced by very sensitive joystick-controls that will give you even better control over the vehicle. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m anxiously awaiting that day.

Oh, and why has it taken so long for people to realize the obvious answer to our fuel shortages, anyway? Or the main problem behind traffic accidents? It’s been known for a while now that we could power a car with electricity, and we’ve had working cars of this type made a while ago, so why is it just now starting to become widely available to the public at an almost affordable price? I would have thought they would have done this years ago. As for the traffic accidents, it’s mainly due to gamers getting behind the wheel. They’re used to video game physics, not real life! Anyone who has a driving simulator game and a steering wheel controller, knows what I mean. In real life, you want to turn a direction, you rotate the wheel until you’re going the way you want, then you turn it back the same amount. In a game, you turn the wheel until it stops turning (about 120 degrees) then let go when you’re done and it snaps back or you bring it back to center with a jerk. More gamers have used joysticks to steer a car then they have used realistic steering wheels. I think the new Mercedes was an obvious choice for upgrading.

Now, if they combine these technologies, have a fully electronic car with “Gamer-Friendly” controls, I think traffic accidents will go down and gas prices will decline, since newer cars won’t need them.

If only we could get them to fly, then we’d be in Jetson’s territory, and that sounds good to me.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Revolution or Evolution?

Money is the root of all evil. It’s an inescapable fact. Sure, you can tell people all you want about the many rich people uncorrupted by all their money and power, but they will still believe that it is the root of all evil. As long as people believe that money is evil, it will remain evil. So why do we use money?

Let’s forget about the whole evil thing and just focus on that. Why do we use money? Money is a representation of the amount of gold we own that is locked up somewhere. We trade millions of pieces of paper and metal each day while our share of gold collects dust. But, if our money represents gold, then what makes gold so valuable that it’s the only metal worth trading? If you find something more rare than gold or more valuable, society tells you to either put it up somewhere or sell it for money, essentially gold. So, why would you trade something more valuable than gold, for more gold? Why can’t we use this to trade with other people, like we do with our gold? Better yet, why can’t we have the government print a certain type of money specifically for this new mineral and place it into the safe house we’ve locked up our gold in? I don’t think anyone would mind spending platinum dollars. And if we could do this with the higher minerals, why not the lower minerals? This way, we could eliminate the coins, stick with paper and just have differently colored paper represent what mineral you have.

This seems rather complicated, actually, and would leave a lot of colors to remember. But it does ask a good question. Why are we only trading gold when there are items of less, equal, and more value that we could trade for better stuff or more equal exchange? While we are trading gold only, all markets are concerned with two things, supply and demand. How many they have, and how much people want it. If we introduced more items to give for this product, a third word would be added to this list: want.

Let’s say we began to use the barter system. We can trade whatever we want for whatever we want. It’d actually make things quite simple. You want that apple. Well, the person selling the apple wants a fork. You happen to have an extra fork, and they obviously have an extra apple, since they are selling it. You each trade your extra, useless item. You have the apple you wanted, he has the fork that he wanted. You both are happy. Selling would then rely on three things: supply, demand, want. What do we have to give, how badly do they want it, what can we get in return? Let’s go on a larger scale. You want that computer. Well, the guy building it put a lot of hard work into that computer, and he isn’t just going to give it to you for a measly fork or apple. He also needs to trade for stuff he can give other people so he can get more parts for more computers. The people he gets his parts from, just want food. Any kind, it doesn’t really matter to them. So he adds 20 pounds of food to his price. The rest is negotiable. You try to buy the computer. He tells you he needs 20 pounds of food plus whatever else you can give him that he might want. You list off all of the items you’d be willing to give him for the computer. He thinks that stereo system you listed sounds pretty good. So, you come back the next day with a stereo system and 20 pounds of food. You got a computer, he has a stereo, and he can trade the 20 pounds of food for more parts to make another computer, which might get him some better stuff.

If we compared this to our current money system, someone would think that a computer would be worth a stereo and 20 pounds of food. Depending on the stereo and quality of food, the guy selling could have been ripped off or gotten a great deal. But it was supply, demand, and want. He supplied a computer, you demanded a computer, he wanted food and a stereo. All requirements were met, everyone is happy. Now, he can even trade his new stereo for something better, if the other guys wants are low enough. Price only depends on what the seller wants. If he doesn’t want much, you might as well be stealing. If he wants too much, no one is really going to trade with him.

So what we have here, is an easier way to trade. There is no middle man controlling value, everyone gets what they want, and there are no taxes because the government would have all the gold they want for trading with other countries.

The moral of this story? Let’s deal with each other, cut out the middle man, and let the government play with their pretty blocks.