Monday, February 1, 2010

Rules of the Internet

A while ago, I was browsing the internet in a lazy, roundabout fashion, as I am wont to do from time to time, and I came across a list of Internet Rules. Some were stupid, some completely unneeded, most were simply silly. As I searched more I found that a lot of people have tried to make this list and there was only one rule they all agreed on, and that was Rule 34, in some for or another.

Well, none of them covered all of the issues, and I never found a single one that agreed with another without completely copying it. So, I decided to make my own list of internet rules. These are not so much rules that you must follow, as they are rules that are usually followed whether you know of them or not. Without further delay, here is my list.

Rules of the Internet

1. If you're not famous, stay anonymous
2. There are no universal social rules
3. There is always someone willing to ban you
4. Your favorite low level sites will usually die
5. If they don't die then they will stop being the site you remember
6. Anything you say can and will be used against you
7. Anything you say can be turned into something else
8. Everything is out of context
9. Relation to the original topic decreases proportionally to the number of posts
10. No matter what you say, you're wrong
11. All of your carefully thought out arguments can be easily ignored
12. Intelligent discussion can always be brought to a halt by trolls
13. It is impossible to defeat trolls
14. Trolls can never win without you letting them
15. Letting a troll win is treason and punishable by flaming
16. Laughing at a troll is not letting it win - it is entertainment
17. The harder you try the harder you will fail
18. If you win at failing, there's a site dedicated to you
19. Everything "win" fails eventually
20. Everything that can be labeled can be hated
21. The more you hate it the stronger it gets
22. Nothing is to be taken seriously
23. There is no such thing as originality - it's all been done before
24. If it's popular enough, it's on youtube in every form imaginable, at least twice
25. Every comment may be grounds for a sexual or sexist attack
26. CAPSLOCK IS A SURE WAY TO BE HEARD but no one will listen
27. Everything can be made into a Chuck Norris joke - except Chuck Norris
28. Nothing is sacred
29. The more beautiful and pure a thing is - the more satisfying it is to corrupt it
30. Everything is opinion even if you have proven otherwise
31. If it is annoying, it is everywhere
32. "Cute things" will never die
33. No matter how bad something is, there is always something worse
34. If you can imagine it, there's a good chance someone made it into porn
35. If there is no porn of it, there will be soon

Catch All - Never accept anything on blind faith - especially internet rules

If you wish to add any rules that I may have missed, feel free to leave a comment. This list is in no way complete, as there are many aspects of the internet that I have never experienced. As I get more rules, they will be added before the catch all rule at the end.

So, what other previously unwritten rules have you observed during your net travels?